Pillowtalk Parody - Bart Baker

I am free

I’m free from One Direction

free to make

songs about my erection

I dyed my hair blonde and I’m wearing leather

I do what I want

unlike back when

One Direction was still together

I just don’t give a fuck

see I did not shave

I look like I might be stoned too

Did you notice I cussed?

This is the new Zayn!

We’ve got to stop him

Yes we do!

I made a song about sex!

and the vid’s getting more views

than most 1D vids do

What’s up with these effects?

Whoever’s editing this is on something

Is that a bouquet?

And what’s with your spike face?

Why don’t you have clothes on?

Whoever made this is a moron

I just can’t believe

Zayn made a sex song

I’m adult

and now that I have proved it

if I want

to do something I’ll do it

I’ll stay up all night watching the TV

It’s past 1AM!

Who’s that hot chick?

He’s watching an R-rated movie!

Now that I’m an adult I’m going to vape

I even got a face tattoo

I can’t believe Zayn did this

he was from a pop boy band

now he acts like a grown man

And he’s got a huge hit

I guess it can pay off to be an adult

Maybe we should grow up

do all that grown up stuff

I say yes what the heck

just wait til Zayn see what 1D do next

Maybe we all could

even try having sex

We’re 4 boys being bad

gonna stay up late gonna play grab ass

we got guns

drugs

and face tats

We’re grown up being bad!

I don’t understand why isn’t our video blowing up like Zayn’s?

Everybody hates it!

We’re losing all our fans!

We’re grown up being bad!

Wow!

You guys are real fuckin idiots, oh by the way

This isn’t a real tattoo, 1D more like dumb D

We’re grown up being bad!

We’re grown up being bad!