Flab Slab - Zach Sherwin

Once there was a boy, quiet, shy

A chubby, sensitive, bookish little guy

He had a real name by which his folks knew him

But Flab Slab is how we’ll refer to him

A flab slab, how would we define that?

That’d be like a big flat thick slice of fat

And that’s the unfortunate nickname he got

From Randall, the nastiest kid in the sixth grade

Who preyed on Flab Slab’s weakness

Mocked his supposed obeseness

He would roll up on him at recess

And call him the name that made him feel deep shame and depressed

Flab Slab was Randall’s primary

Target, and it was quite scary

Eventually, he stopped going out to the playground

And just holed up in the library

Flab Slab

He mistreats you

You’re his victim

He’s your tormentor

How much

Will you stand for?

What do you stand for?

Frightened little awkward boy, sitting, looking at books

One day instead of playing outside

Flab Slab trudged glumly to the lib

Where displayed prominently he saw

A biography of Muhammad Ali

Flab Slab took one look at the book

And after one page he was hooked

He devoured it in a single sitting

And had an idea that sent his head spinning

When he got home, he asked Mom and Pops a question

Could they sign him up for boxing lessons?

He’d never shown any interests in sports before

But they said, «Yes of course, for sure»

And I’m not gonna go into a montage scene

Where he turns into a lean, mean, fighting machine

He just learned the basics of how to throw a punch

Which made his self-esteem grow a bunch (Hmph!)

Flab Slab

You have had it

You won’t stand it

Anymore

Take a stand and

Show 'em what you stand for

What do you stand for?

Fighting lessons and battle skills, learning about boxing

Weeks passed, Flab Slab biding his time

Training, remaining, and hiding until one faithful day

When the teacher said, «Okay, class, it’s time to go play»

Flab Slab’s heart was beating at a fast rate

As he walked out with the rest of his classmates

But he felt strong, no anxiety

As he went and he read quietly by a tree

Suddenly, a shadow darkened the page

Flab knew a battle was about to be waged

Randall knocked his novel in the dirt

Pulled him to his feet by the collar of his shirt

Kids gathered 'round like they do when a fight occurs

Randall said «I'm gonna punch out those lights of yours»

Flab thought of the things he had learned

In the ring, took a swing, and ding ding ding

Randall was a goner, Flab Slab stood there dominantly

And as calm as could be

He said «My moniker’s an honor to me

Cause it means I’m like Muhammad Ali»

Look closely, you’ll see it’s the initials of

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Flab Slab

That name you hated

You reclaimed it

You made it yours

And now we

Know what you stand for

And so we’re finished, later, adios, bye

Sayounara, love, and, BREAK!