Waiting - Stephen Lynch

It’s out of my hands and all I can do is wait

It’s the not knowing that has put me in this state

The minutes feel like hours the tension is too great

I’ve done my part so now it’s in the hands of fate

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back

I shouldn’t have fucked that prositute without a profylactic

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back

Regret is dripping from me like my semen down her crack

And now I wait

My nerves they have been frayed my pants they have been shat

I know the nurse will say it’s time to have a chat

At least I never worry about getting fat

I should think positive, no wait I didn’t say that

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back

I never should have blown that tranny in my Cadillac

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back

I just had to taste that sweet forbidden necter from his sack

And now I wait

Is it over will my jersey be retired?

Will my name stitched upon a quilt be required?

Did I make a differnce was my life inspired?

Will Denzel Washington defend me when I’m fired?

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back

Eating asshole shouldn’t be an aphrodisiac

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back

If I’m clean I swear to God I’ll stop shooting smack

Probably

Boys and girls don’t be naive

Take it from your Uncle Steve

AIDS cares not whom it affects

Caught from unprotected sex

Sharing needles blood or spit

Or piss or semen even shit

From handshakes sneezes toilet seats

From monkey bites and uncooked meats

From dirty coins and dreadlocked hair

From certain children in daycare

Drinking water breathing air

I tell you AIDS is everywhere

Oh God I can’t take anymore

I think I’ll run right out that door

But wait the nurse comes straight away

Tell me what does my test say

I’m okay

I’m okay

It’s just chlamydia