Squirrel Rights - Rhett and Link

I’m Doug

And I’m Darrell

And we are squirrels

We live in your backyard in a big oak tree

That’s our world

We saw you and your family

Filming us with your flip cam

Shaking our little tails

Eating crackers from your hand

We know we’re irresistible

Seemingly even kissable

Extremely home video-able

And effortlessly uploadable

But what makes you think that gives you the right

To make us internet memes overnight?

We didn’t sign a release

You didn’t get our consent

To put our private lives on the public internet

We didn’t sign a release

You seem surprised to find we’re upset

You wonder how in the world can squirrels talk

Much less have the internet

Well, you have e-mail

We have tree mail

You have smartphones

We have pine cones

You have social networks

We have elaborate squeaks and chirps

He just said, «You have no right to publish or distribute audio or Video

recordings of us including, but not limited to our names Recorded mating calls,

photographs or likenesses, nest location

Tail length or any material based upon it or derived therefrom»

Oh yes, «In any forest»

«In perpetuity»

If you don’t cease and desist

A suit will be filed

Especially if we end up in the next

Squirrels Gone Wild

We didn’t sign a release

You didn’t get our consent

To put our private lives on the public internet

We didn’t sign a release

You violated our trust

We don’t want the world to see the secret place

Where we hide our nuts

We didn’t sign a release