Clown Shark - Rhett and Link

Ever since I was a boy

I’ve been afraid of clowns

Their horrifying faces

Never failed to bring me down

The only thing more scary

Are sharks deep in the sea

I couldn’t touch a swimming pool

'Til I was twenty three

Still every night I thank

Each of the stars up in the sky

There’s no such thing as clown sharks

Out there to make me cry

A world without that nightmare

Is a world where I can be

Happy and relaxed

In an endless state of peace

Clown shark!

I’m real

I’m here

I’m worse than you feared

I can juggle five balls

And then swallow a deer

I’m coming for you from the hell depths beneath

I’ve got pancake makeup

And razor-sharp teeth

I use big clown shoes

To chase you on land

I crush cars with my jaws

And my giant fun hands

Oh no, please tell me that this is a trick

Do I look like I’m joking?

Just pray you die quick

Did that really just happen?

It couldn’t have been real

No creature’s ever wanted to

Honk horns then eat a seal

There’s no such thing as clown sharks

And those are just the facts

I’m calming down inside

And I can finally relax

Clown shark!

I’m scarier than ever

It’s time for you to panic

My rainbow wig

Makes me more aerodynamic

I got big floppy pants

And black eyes in my head

Here’s a funny balloon

Shaped like you being dead

I use my sense of smell

To locate you in the park

Then I drove here in a Miata

Filled with fifteen other sharks

My jolly red nose

Is smelling blood in the water

So step right up for

A feeding frenzy

Circus of slaughter!

Oh thank goodness, it was only

Cloooown shark!