We Are Assassins - Dan Bull

Let me tell the story of Ezio Auditore

Adolescent, Rowdy, Brawny

Exceptionally hella horny

He’s the sort of lout that’s surely doubtless purely out for glory

But something out of the ordinary happened to make his tale more gory

When a man’s family is taken away

Anguish and hatred can make him change his aims

In the space of a day

He went from causing heartbreak to causing heartbreak

Literally, Requiescat in Pace

We are Assassins

We work in the dark to serve the light

We are Assassins

Facilitate the fate of those who deserve to die

We are Assassins

Committed to the Creed to which we have submitted

Nothing is true

Everything is permitted

See your death throes

When I broke your brains like an egg yolk

And throw them on the wall

Like I’m painting a Fresco

Techno Retro

So let’s go get those Codex Notes

Is the next bloke better than me

Yep, Nope

He’s lacking intelligence

While I’m actively elegant

Rapidly getting even more Machiavellian

Even though my armour’s a thin sheet like pyjamas

It’d simply need an army to lynch me

With half an inch each of yarn

I would nimbly fight my way out of the bondage

It’s kinky

And since he’s the father of ingenuity

Leonardo Da Vinci’s partly responsible

For the hard to believe half of your eulogy

So let me take this opportunity

To fluently and lucidly

Produce a piece of music

For the Creed to keep in Unity

Now please do excuse me

I need some promiscuity

It’s been too long for me

It’s been like 2 mins since I’ve seen some nudity

We are Assassins

We work in the dark to serve the light

We are Assassins

Facilitate the fate of those who deserve to die

We are Assassins

Committed to the Creed to which we have submitted

Nothing is true

Everything is permitted

Pimping out the Villa

Til it’s as big as a Basilica

Villagers bringing in bigger income

In unlimited integers

Injurious extrajudicial inquisitor

Instant criminal conviction distributor

There isn’t a bit of room in this system for prisoners

I whip out the scimitar

And administer a sinister signature finisher

So you’re dead in the middle of the original Italy

From city to city

I’m an invisible visitor

My mission is to sit and listen

As the conspiracy thickens

I’m within your perimeter

But without parameters

My rapping is advanced a bit

Past Iambic Pentameter

Fricking amateurs

There’s an assassin in the Vatican

Attacking from the battlements

A man with an axe in his back?

It has to be an accident

A bloody baptism

Standing in for the sacrament

That randomly occurs

Until it’s happened to the last of them

We are Assassins

We work in the dark to serve the light

We are Assassins

Facilitate the fate of those who deserve to die

We are Assassins

Committed to the Creed to which we have submitted

Nothing is true

Everything is permitted

We are Assassin’s