You're Special! - Dan Bull

Following total atomic annihilation

It may fall to you to save the great nation

That’s why Vault-Tec have made extra preparation

And are proud to present you a special education

Regarding aptitude

You are an absolutely unique amalgamation of attributes

Now, it’s time to find out in which you excel

What makes you S-P-E-C-I-A-L?

You’re special!

You’re special!

You’re special!

Oh, so special!

S-P-E-C-I-A-L spells out that you’re quite swell

Strength!

Supplies are sparse

So on seeing something sweet, be sure to scavenge or starve

The stronger you aren’t, the smaller the stack

Of scrap, storage and snacks that you can haul on your back

But do be sure to stay on track of the numbers

Or a savage could suddenly strike as you’re over-encumbered

And should your special self have such a regrettable incident

You’d better get swinging, any suitable weapon or implement

Perception!

Post-nuclear places are pretty prearranged

To put you through your paces

Pinpoint the parts of predators that plan to prey

With the Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System

Hooray!

You may need to pickpocket

Pinching for your own protection, practicing your pilfering

Purloining to perfection, if your preferential predilection’s

Petty theft of peoples' possessions

You’ll be protected by perception

You’re special!

You’re special!

You’re special!

Oh, so special!

S-P-E-C-I-A-L spells out that you’re quite swell

Endurance!

Epidemics are endemic everywhere

Infection, amputation, radiation, never rare

End the negative effects, refresh your energy by eating everything

Even extra limbs and enemies, your belly’s not ever empty

There’s endless entrées, extend the length of time you exercise

Eons, days, escape encounters with louts and rowdy hooligans

Or environments ensure you’ll eventually be food again

Charisma!

Communists conquered this clean continent

And concomitantly, corruption was the consequence

As such, you must be confident and cognizant of compliments

Confirming that commercially, you’re consummately competent

Convert companions to confidantes

Convincing them to change a cuddly toy

For cutlery and condiments

Swallow down countless cups of cocktails

And charm your way from harm, chum

Combat curtailed

You’re special!

You’re special!

You’re special!

Oh, so special!

S-P-E-C-I-A-L spells out that you’re quite swell

Intelligence!

Is idiocy inverted,

innate instinct

Take information and interpret it, the inner intuition and initiative

To impliment inventive ideas, to be inquisitive

It is indicative of ingrained imagination

To take an inspiration and create an innovation

Insure against injury through investigation

Because ignorance induces incapacitation

Agility!

After all the aggro, antagonists are all too available

There’s no

ASBOs

Accelerate your acts of accurate aim

And have any angry adversaries aptly aflame

Avoid adverse assaults from automatics

Avert or annul their action with acrobatics

Agility!

Amazing adaptability

Awesome!

What an absolutely ace ability

You’re special!

You’re special!

You’re special!

Oh, so special!

S-P-E-C-I-A-L spells out that you’re quite swell

Luck!

The lady

That lowers the likelihood of life’s lotto’s loss for the lazy

When you’re larking with lice that are larger than life

At least you’ll have the lethal last laugh and the like

The lie of the land’s less than lavish and lovely

But when looking for loot, you’ll locate lots of luxury

Loads of little lowlifes leering at your luggage?

A lone laddy’s liable to let them learn what luck is

Congratulations, you’ve passed the test, yes!

From everyone at Vault-Tec, splendid work on your success

Give yourself a pat on the back and maybe shake hands

Then preambulate into the haze of the wasteland

War, war never changes

Look at the history book’s torn-up pages

'Cause when the dust settles after all out war

You’ll be glad we taught you what to deal with fallout for

You’re special!

You’re special!

You’re special!

Oh, so special!

S-P-E-C-I-A-L spells out that you’re quite swell (That's you!)

You’re special!

You’re special!

You’re special!

Oh, so special!

(That's you!)

S-P-E-C-I-A-L spells out that you’re quite swell

Good luck out there!