Torbjörn Not to Be - Dan Bull

Like clockwork

What is the name of the person that this song is all about?

His name is Torbjörn, or is it Terbjern?

Whatever your preferred term is, I really don’t care

I’m singing it the way I want to, like it’s burnt fur

If you remember the Omnic Crisis, you weren’t there

The yellow bearded fellow, smeared in oil and grease

The sort you’d even struggle, to scrub off with boiling bleach

He never hesitates, he’s unafraid to get his hands mucky

So if you don’t get splashed, you’re damn lucky

Hands up if your hand’s, just a metal claw

No, not you Doomfist, you missed the metaphor

Aw, he loves Brigitte, deep as Humbert Humbert, loves Lolita

Err, that was just a figure of speech, no need to look police up

Forged in the core of war, it’s Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war,

it’s Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf

porn)

Forged in the core of war, it’s Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war,

it’s Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf

porn)

It’s total war, when Torby overloads the molten core

What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen an ult before?

Better bolt the door, before you get your home repoed

By the dwarf, who bought all of the tools, in Home Depot

Better to be the hammer, than the nail getting hit

Better to forge ahead, than later on regretting it

Imagine Willy Messerschmitt, had lit his second spliff

And said «feck it», «no making planes, I’m better as a weaponsmith»

Predicted the Omnic scientists, would make a mess of it

And trigger a bigger crisis, then when the recession hit

Just shift that turret to the right, no, left a bit

We’re trying to find the best position, to set up for wrecking shit

And I reckon, shit’s about to get a bit hectic quick

Your head will end up spinning, like your neck is an electric whisk

How many Dan Bull Overwatch tracks, do you expect exist?

I should sell them on an album, it’s an eclectic disk

Forged in the core of war, it’s Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war,

it’s Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf

porn)

Forged in the core of war, it’s Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war,

it’s Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf

porn)

Cooking up and chucking hot sauce, build them up, and break them down

Don’t argue, or he’ll barbecue, your face to flavor town

That isn’t the way to use a rivet gun, is it son?

Doesn’t matter, there’s a job to do, we’re going to get it done

Nothing pays off, as hard as hard work

Turning molten metal, into a Dali artwork

His forge is a melting pot

In which he sculpts raw ore, into melting clocks

Manufacturing turrets, as accurate as Swiss watches

Tick tock, ticking you off like TikTok clips

Tip top, don’t be the one he gets pissed off with

Or you’ll get a steel-toed kick, to the coccyx

He’s got a grip like a fist, full of cocked pistons

But he’s just not confident, with picking up chopsticks

But it’s not particularly inhibiting

His curriculum vitae, is infinitely riveting

Forged in the core of war, it’s Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war,

it’s Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf

porn)

Forged in the core of war, it’s Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war,

it’s Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf

porn)