Surgeon Simulator - Dan Bull

Hi, I’m Nigel Burt

You might know me as the guy that lurked

In the hospital pulling back the final curtains

Savin' lives is my line of work

I’m overworked

And I’m overpaid

Nobody else gets home as late

No time to poo

No time to wee

To go on a date

No time to sleep

See

But regardless

Of what they’re payin' me

I’m the hardest in the A.N.E

A couple o' whiskeys

A couple o' Baileys

I’m ready for my shift

Gimme the blade, please

This is an emergency

Surgery

Third degree burns

Leave the patient

Waiting in purgatory operating with urgency

We can’t take an eternity

Blood loss rate is discernably worse

Than the state of my purse

on my late anniversary

Unlucky

That’s why I stay here so late

Just to earn a fee

That’s why the patient is lay

His tag is lay on display (?)

To this infirmary

Yeah, I may have made a mistake

There may be stains on my apron

But baby hey, I’m just sayin' that when the table is shakin'

In the back of an ambulance

It’s a little difficult to keep on track what your hands

are doin'

Oh Golly

When you’re on a trolly

Tryin' to find the right tools like where’s Wally

If I was you I’d be crying for my mummy

I’d give you a tissue but I’ve got not one on me

Sorry

I’m a little unprepared

But luckily you’re not in a position to be runnin' scared

Caught you unawares

Unsheath the ties (?)

Now you asleep give me a pizza knife

What are you worried about

Too scary?

I’m just the new tooth fairy

I’m coming for your calcium

Like a loon let loose in a dairy

When I said I’m not a dentist

What I meant is

Of all my skills it’s just a percentage

My qualifications might be invented

But I won’t get better without trying to attend to you

Dentally demented

I tend to need apprentices

Because a tendancy

To comprehend

More than me I generally pretend it

And so far I’ve never been suspended

Kid theatre?

I’m territorial

Less surgical more gladiatorial

If this gets any more gory I’ll put it on YouTube as a tutorial

I’ve been awake on call for days

My eyes are redder than when I went to UltraLaze'

Not a qualified eye surgeon

but I can’t help but help when your eye’s hurtin'

See I’m a nice person

Chris Martin

I’ll try to fix you

Quick stick a heart in

And I start to weave

Hit an artery

Make a chest cavity

Big enough to park in

Demographically set in the present (?)

Increasing the speed

That you’ll get an inheritance

I never get dumped for medical negligence

Not because I’m good

But 'cuz I bury the evidence

Demographically set in the present (?)

Increasing the speed

That you’ll get an inheritance

I never get dumped for medical negligence

Not because I’m good

But 'cuz I bury the evidence

Chop chop

(Ha ha)

Your life

In my hands