Red Dead Resentment - Dan Bull

I had dreams of starring in spaghetti westerns

I’d be Clint Eastwood

But he’s tough, and better dressed

But luckily for me

There is a way to live my fantasy

The Red Dead franchise

Will let me be that man for cheap

My own family won’t even know me

I’m Dan Houser meets Sergio Leone

I saw the trailer for the game

And thought my brain would fall away

It made my morning great

Tore away the ball and chain

I say i’m Dan Houser meets Sergio Leone

Now hang about a moment

While I saddle up my pony

I’m ready to roam

Into the desert alone

Stepping into the unknown

Heading in westward ho

Ahead of the heather the zephyr has blown

I’m there for the treasure, the throne

Whenever I get it I’m setting off home

To my homestead

Where i’d better declare my intention to own

Red Dead Redemption

But wait

What did we forget to mention?

A simultaneous release on Steam?

No intention

But why do you feel the need

To tease the PC players?

To keep us waiting is the cheapest sales technique

The same as GTA is

So yet again the Steam train’s been delayed

Come on, Rockstar

That’s a cheeky way to treat a mate

Yeah, make us pay upon the day you brought it out once

Then port to PC after about

Ooh

Twelve months

Back in the 90's you guys were PC pioneers

The kind i’d like to buy a beer

Here’s my shoulder, cry a tear

Now you provide a new title every five years

On proprietary gear

Just let me buy it here

See, i’m Dan Houser meets Sergio Leone

If Sergio Leone was only owned by Sony

Fkin' blow me

I’m sorry I said that