Back to the Borderlands - Dan Bull

Go!

Hello, Pandora fans

I’d like to show my awesome plans

Hold on tight to your organs, glands

We’re riding back to the Borderlands!

When I hear that Gearbox are releasing a sequel

My teardrops are uncontrollable

I’m inconsolable but fear not

They’re tears of joy like me as a boy

After Christmas Eve when I see a box

I open it up and say, «Whoa!»

at the view

It’s only overflowing with loot

Locking and loading, I know what to do

Now, who am I going to shoot?

Erm, you!

You’re a pitiful prick

So, I’m ripping you up with a critical hit

Funds improve my guns and loot

I’ll use it if it’ll fit

If it moves I’ll shoot it, you tit

I’m a Buzzard, you’re a blue tit

I fly in the sky and it’s fatal

Foes are lying disabled

A hole in their face, I’m reminded of bagels

I’m ever so slightly unstable!

Me?

I’m hardly an angel

Leave that to the Guardian Angel

This is the eighties, I’m Arnie

And painfully making your army unfaithful

Health and safety!

Watch your head

Heavy metal!

Lots of lead

But before I drop you dead

I’ll shred you up like Dr. Zed!

I said, «Zed, let him in»

Led Zeppelin never played on David Letterman

Though that may be irrelevant

Nevertheless, it’s a hell of method of making it evident

Dan is the cleverest rapper to ever use gaming in tracks

Setting a precedent that wouldn’t ever be bettered

'Til weapons are made into raps

Eighty-seven bazillion guns

A similar number of brilliant puns

Turn that to cash, gimme the funds

Back to back with my militant chums

I’m blasting stacks of straps at prats

It’s action packed, ridiculous fun!

If kills were calories, that’d be fattening

Fragging a Skag and I’m bagging and tagging him

Having you lagging and manically panicking

Man, is it actually happening?!

Well, I’m an assassin assassin-ing you

So, if that is a fact then it has to be true

You’re chatting Claptrap

So, I should grab your nadsack and yank it

So, your nads are dropping

Like the stock is on the NASDAQ

Asshat, don’t answer back

Who the fuck is Handsome Jack?

You want how many grams of that?!

I’ll grind you like my ganja sack

I will be having you crying in agony

Violently cracking your violin, Paganini

Meeny-miny-mo

More money, less problems

The bigger the gun, the less nonsense

I’m less Mark Ronson, more Charles Bronson

Or a vault Hunter S. Thompson

Said I’m less Mark Ronson, more Charles Bronson

Or a vault Hunter S. Thompson

Less Mark Ronson, more Charles Bronson

Or a vault Hunter S. Thompson

Less Mark Ronson, more Charles Bronson

Or a vault Hunter S. Thompson

Less Mark Ronson, more Charles Bronson

Or a vault Hunter S. Thompson