I Don't Drink - Tom MacDonald

I screwed up, I just wanna say I’m sorry

It’s all my fault, you should probably ignore me

Oh my God, should’ve given you a warning

All my friends are sick and tired of this story

I don’t drink 'cause when I’m drunk, I’m annoying

Call your phone when it’s three in the morning

Start a fight, parked a whip in your garden

You probably think I am mentally retarded

Please, don’t call me crazy 'cause I’m not

Last night I had one too many shots

Blacked out, got arrested by the cops

Woke up on the neighbours front lawn

Every time that I’m hangover, I convince myself I’m dying

Where the hell my pants go and why is my girlfriend crying?

I say that I remember what I did, but I am lying

There’s a tattoo on my buttcheek, it’s a beer can and he’s smiling

I’m pretty sure the last night went down in history

We made it out alive, and that’s a victory

Black eyes, minor injuries

We lost a fight together, that’s a win to me

I don’t drink 'cause when I’m drunk, I’m retarded

Ask around, I’m the life of the party

Hold my beer 'cause I’m only getting started

Who cares about tomorrow and the misery?

I’m a mess, and I know you don’t deserve it

You’re the best, and I’m a pretty stupid person

None-the-less you try to help me 'cause I’m hurting

I confess, sometimes I feel like I’m not worth it

I don’t drink 'cause when I’m drunk, I’m a problem

I don’t care who I hurt, I feel awesome

Holy crap, it’s either jail or a coffin

Soon enough I’mma be at rock bottom

Please help, tell me, how I end up here?

Last night, I had one too many beers

Flashbacks, but I can’t remember clear

Why I texted all my exes, and we haven’t spoke in years

Every time that I’m hangover, last night doesn’t feel so funny

I threw up on my front step, and I wasted all of my money

I got naked in the night club right in front of all my buddies

Then I went home with some girl I thought was hot, but she is ugly

I’m pretty sure the last night went down in history

We made it out alive, and that’s a victory

Black eyes, minor injuries

We lost a fight together, that’s a win to me

I don’t drink 'cause when I’m drunk, I’m retarded

Ask around, I’m the life of the party

Hold my beer 'cause I’m only getting started

Who cares about tomorrow and the misery?

You call my phone, 'kay be quiet, can you hear it?

I don’t hear it

Damn, oh no, my sexy photos, can we clear it?

We need to clear it

I’m pretty sure the last night went down in history

We made it out alive, and that’s a victory

Black eyes, minor injuries

We lost a fight together, that’s a win to me

I don’t drink 'cause when I’m drunk, I’m retarded

Ask around, I’m the life of the party

Hold my beer 'cause I’m only getting started

Who cares about tomorrow and the misery?