Carol of the Tails - The Stupendium

Sneaking down the stairs, peeling back the paper

Don’t tear, I’ll re-wrap it later

Mom wouldn’t care I’m a gift invader

'Cus nobody’s there when I go to wake her

Nobody’s aware I’m off on a caper

I’m a little scared, is this what she paid for?

Did Waygetter get a play-tester?

Think they’d make their wares just a little safer

I was not prepared, there was no disclaimer

To account for their jeopardous behaviour

Better take care to avoid the danger

Mama knows you’re there and you won’t escape her

Could have chosen a bear or a Power Ranger

But I went for presents a little stranger

Are these 4 out to kill or save me?

Do they want me dead, do they want a saviour?

You’d better not pout.

You’d better not cry

'Cus if she hears the sound, you’ll probably die

You’d better have a silent night

Or you’re in for a violent fright

The creatures are stirring, soft fur and red eyes

Hark hear the wails

Sweet Tattletails

All seem to say

She’s on her way

Christmas is here

Bringing the fear

Nobody home

Weak and alone

Na Na Na Na

Eyes in the dark

Keeps following

All harrowing

She’s listening

Hear baby sing

End drawing near

Mama is here

You’d better watch out.

You’d better run, hide

'Cus Mama has come for her children tonight

You’d better have a silent night

Or you’re in for a violent fright

'Cus creatures are stirring, they’re not even mice

I don’t think it’s right in the festive season

To have to hide from obsessive demons

All around the tree, battery powered heathens

Calling out to me 'cus they want a feeding

Charge them if they sleep, brush them 'til they’re gleamin'

Tend to every need or they’ll start a-screamin'

Baby not a peep, Mama’s been a schemein'

And she’s gonna keep coming til I’m bleedin'

What’s with all the eggs that you guys are leavin'?

Should I be collecting them for a reason?

Already got a lot of problems I’m dealing

A treasure hunt is NOT what I need this evening!

No sugar plums, I don’t think I’m dreaming

Hope that these boxes have receipts in

At least a Furby wouldn’t hurt me

And in the dark they’d just be sleeping!

Alone on the porch and my torch keeps on dying

How come their batteries last longer than mine?

I just want to rest in peace

No!

I meant asleep!

Santa won’t stop if I’m dead on the drive!

Deep in the basement, they’re waiting you’ll find

To catch her on tape, all is placed and aligned

You’ll never have a silent night

'Til you make a sacrifice

Send her to the afterlife, Mama must die

Hark hear the wails

Sweet Tattletails

All seem to say

She’s on her way

Christmas is here

Bringing the fear

Nobody home

Weak and alone

Na Na Na Na

Eyes in the dark

Keeps following

All harrowing

She’s listening

Hear baby sing

End drawing near

Mama is here

You’d better watch out.

You’d better run, hide

Ages 3 and up was quite clearly a lie

You’d better have a silent night

Or you’ll see unholy frights

Creatures are stirring, you’ll never survive!

(No more Mama!)

((Slowed)No more Mama!)

((More Slowed) No more Mama!)