Drunk By Noon - The Handsome Family

There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy

But he lived in a cage the size of his thumb

And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks

He galloped around until hit by a car

And sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird

Just to remind myself I’ll never fly

And sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes

Just to pretend I won’t scream when I die

And if my life was as long as the moon’s

I’d still be jealous of the sun

And if my life lasted only one day

I’d still be drunk by noon

And sometimes I can’t wait to come down with cancer

At least then I’ll get to watch tv all day

And on my deathbed I’ll get all the answers

Even if all my questions are taken away

If my life was as long as the moon’s

I’d still be jealous of the sun

If my life lasted only one day

I’d still be drunk by noon