When The Kids Are Gone - Ray Stevens

Once our lives were all about kids

All about kids and the things kids did

Me and the missus and Little League games

And then one year when the summertime came

I said, «I think they’re old enough

To go to summer camp and do summer camp stuff»

So we signed them up for a two-week stint

My wife said to me just before they went

«What are we gonna do when the kids are gone

For two long weeks and we’re all alone?

Will we know how to act here on our own?

What are we gonna do» (What are we gonna do)

«When the kids are gone?»

And I said, «Hmm»

«Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon

Run butt-naked through the dining room»

(Butt-naked, butt-naked through the dining room)

«Stay out late with all of our friends

And run hog-wild 'til the summer camp ends»

Well, there was dating and proms and graduation

Off to college for more education

Then one day, it became real clear

That it wouldn’t be long 'til they wouldn’t be here

Once again, my wife said

«What are we gonna do when the kids are grown

When they’re all moved out and we’re on our own?

When we get back our lives and our telephone

Said what are we gonna do» (What are we gonna do)

«When the kids are grown?»

And I said, «Let's see, heh-heh-heh»

«We'll make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon

Run butt-naked through the dining room»

(Butt-naked, butt-naked, butt-naked, butt-naked)

«Buy a red Corvette and a silver van

And run hog-wild 'til we’re in Depends»

Then one day the children sat us both down

Said, «We see you’re having trouble just getting around

We’d hate to see you come to some harm

So we’re sending you off to the Sunset Farms»

My wife cried, and said

«What are we gonna do when they put us in the home

When the kids sell off everything we own?

When our hearing and our vision and our teeth are gone

Now what are we gonna do» (What are we gonna do)

«When they put us in the home?»

And I said, «Heh-heh-heh»

«Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon

Run butt-naked through the dining room»

(Butt-naked, butt-naked, butt, butt, butt-naked)

«If they tell us that we can’t, we’ll just do it again

And run hog-wild 'til the whole thing ends»

«Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon

Run butt-naked through the dining room»

(Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt-naked)

«If they tell us not to do it, we’ll just do it again

And run hog-wild 'til this whole thing ends»

«Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon

Run butt-naked through the dining room»

(Butt-naked, naked, naked, naked, naked, naked, naked)

«If they tell us, 'Don't do that', we’ll just do that again

And run hog-wild 'til this whole thing ends»