We Are The Government - Ray Stevens

Who is it?

Candy Gram

Go away, I saw that on Saturday Night Live

Who is it?

Santa Claus

Come on, it’s not even Christmas

Who is it?

Easter Bunny

How dumb do you think I am?

Who is it?

Stimulus check

Stimulus check? Why didn’t you say so?

We are the Government

We’re here to help you

We are the Government

We’ll tell you what to do

We’ll show you how to live your life,

Raise your kids and treat your wife

We are the Government

And we’re here to help you

We are the Government

Your money belongs to us

We are the Government

And when we tax you, please don’t fuss

You’ll see the benefit someday

And besides it’s ours anyway

We are the Government

Your money belongs to us

We are the Government

We’ll tell you what to eat

We are the Government

And you must avoid red meat

It’s bad for your heart,

bad for your waist,

in time you’ll love how tofu tastes

We are the Government

And we’ll tell you what to eat

There’s a vicious rumor floating around

That we all work for you

But the government, doesn’t work at all

So how can that be true?

We are the Government

The election is our home

And for that we’ll sell our soul

We have limousines and jets

We spread the wealth, you absorb the debt

We are the Government

And we know what’s best for you

We are the Government

Your health care’s in our hands

You might have heard we’ve started what we call the Kevorkian Clan

Don’t smoke, don’t drink, and don’t get sick

because if you do you’ll die real quick

We are the Government

And your health care’s in our hands

Now this is a free country

You can eat hamburgers galore

But of course we can’t provide your health insurance, anymore, ha ha

We are the Government

Obey our laws you must

We are the Government

But the laws are not for us

You have the healthcare plan we say, but you can’t expect us to live that way

Because we are the Government

And the laws are not for us

I’m Hungry!

Hungry? What happened to your gruel? Have you already eaten your gruel?

You only get one bowl a day you know, you don’t want to get fat!

I’m cold! I need a coat!

Cold? No coats! haven’t you heard of global warming? Be patient!

I’m bleeding! I had an accident.

An accident? Well what did you do with your band-aid. We gave you one last year!