The Painter - Momus

I’m crawling on hands and knees

And still my dealer won’t pay me

Because I smashed her masterpiece

The Donnizetti altarpiece

I’m dressed up like a clown

I’m smearing my blood around

My brushes are enormous

My nose is phallic like a penis

I’m a painter, I know how

I’m not a dog, but bow-wow

I’ll do anything, I’m like a cow

I’m a painter, kill me now

I climbed inside a tube of paint

They say I’m crazy because they ain’t

I like Sita, I like Agrippa

I love De Kooning and The Dripper

I’m a painter, I like ladies

They love big babies

I stab my eye with a knife

One day I’d like to try to take my life

I’m a painter, I know how

I’m not a dog, but bow-wow

I’ll do anything, I’m like a cow

I’m a painter, kill me now

Before I can even begin to make a picture

I’ve got to make love to a butcher

Some critics call me satyr

Some critics call me letcher

They all say I find the sublime in abjection

But before you kick me out, ask yourself this question

What is your definition of immaculate conception?

How will you interrogate the failure of your failures

Without the success of the successes of painters?

I’m a painter, I know how

I’m not a dog, but bow-wow

I’ll do anything, I’m like a cow

I’m a painter, so kill me now