My Pervert Doppelganger - Momus

I’ve got a pervert doppelganger

He came from over the sea

He hangs around doing sexual crimes

And the blame is getting pinned on me

The blame is getting pinned on me

Whenever that pervert shows his face

My friends all think he’s me

They give him records by Squarepusher

And a box of Japanese tea

A box of Japanese green tea

He’s taken a flat in Smithfields now

Where refrigerated lorries unload dead cows

They call him the Smithfields Ripper now

And the rap is getting pinned on me

The rap is getting pinned on me

And now my pervert doppelganger

Has got my girlfriend’s phone-number

I gave her a warning, but yesterday morning

She cancelled her date with me

'And made it a date with me!'

I went to the flat of my doppelganger

I’d copied my girlfriend’s key

I waited in a cupboard till they both came round

Then jumped out very suddenly

Jumped out very suddenly

And now we get along like a house on fire

The police took away my doppelganger

He’s a high security prisoner now

Being held under lock and key

And everybody thinks, thinks he’s me

And when the lorries unload their cows

Their hogs, their heifers and sows

In piles of slithering meat

I give my girl a treat

With unstoppable energy

Can the man in the mirror be me

Can the man in the mirror be me

Can the man in the mirror be me

Or can it be

My pervert doppelganger