How to Spot an Invert - Momus

Good grooming

A tidy bedroom

Never married

And working in the arts

A bitchy sense of humour

Inordinately colourful scarves

Loose gestures

A wardrobe full of Helmut Lang

A dangling limp wrist

A talent for interior design

He has a taste for Latin poetry of the Silver Age

Indulges privately on the heath with unknown youths

In Spartan sports

And 'the unspeakable vice of the Greeks'

Likes show tunes

Counts hairdressers amongst his closest friends

Is umbilically attached to his mother

He is careful to conceal at all times his real age

Is always florid, flamboyant, pale and interesting

Too good to be true

But this could be you

The invert, our hero, is the male sex, Release 2.0

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