Catholic App - Momus

The app has got a box where you kneel

Tell it all your secrets, and reveal

Your evil thoughts about sex and such

The real reason you skipped lunch

There’s a widget in the box that hides and nods

And swears the whole thing is for the ears of God

But human ears if they burn

Take secrets and pass them on

It takes in information, prints out prayers

And issues absolution, fair’s fair

You get less time in purgatory

More for things you really need

It’s a Catholic app, there’s lots off bounds

A thousand sins, ten commands

The app needs to know, time and again

What’s going on in everyone’s brain

You don’t buy them, they sell you

For who knows what to who knows who

I hear the government, the big G

Is stocking up on Hail Marys

I’ve got the terms of service that nobody reads

They’ve got the right to send you for eternity

To a torture convention they call Hell

In the basement of the Bosch hotel

The app is free, but you give them a donation

In a little velvet pouch they put in circulation

In virtual hangs also known

As churches and cathedrals made of stone

It works on any platform, night, day

You download free, nothing to pay

Spyware, sure, but some say

Privacy’s a big lie anyway

Conspiracy theories are a load of crap

But they’re whispering your secrets down in the apse

There seems to be a leak in the back end

Or a mole with a lot of friends

There’s a big story breaking, the priest is a freak

The app is really l’eglise catholique

But I don’t buy it, the whole thing’s fake

Someone somewhere must have made a mistake

God’s a paper tiger, that’s all crap

They’re controlling populations with that app

Knowledge may be power, but you gave away your best

To a man in a purple stole and a dress

It’s a Catholic app, it knows no bounds

A billion sins, ten commands

But there’s a big glitch that drives me wild

The app can have sex with your child