Cops & Monsters - MC Lars, Schaffer The Darklord

When Will Byers disappeared

We realized he was gone

I was sipping on that bottle

In my trailer by the pond

Out in Hawkins, Indiana

Where we count the fireflies

So when a kid goes missing

It’s a tragic strange surprise

That’s when they call Chief Hopper

I’ve been dealing with a lot

I’ve been tossing turning late at night

With all these angry thoughts

I know I’ll never be the same

Since cancer took my child

I miss her every day

Her laughter and her smile

We buried her in April

Then my wife and I divorced

I spent the summer drinking

Sleeping, crying on the porch

Joyce Byers, I know what it’s like

To have to lose a kid

Searching for him in the places

Where he played and where he hid

And I promise I’ll do everything

I can bring him home

Though we don’t where he’s gone

Just know you’re not alone

Because I’ve been to hell back

In fact, I’m not scared of that much

I’ll punch that Demogorgon

Then I’ll kick him in the nuts

I’m going to punch that Demogorgon in the nuts

I’m going to slap him in the face 'cause that’s what’s up

You can’t take a kid like Will

Plus Barb has been missing still

Let’s face it

The Upside Down is nasty

Kind of like the Blair Witch

Threw a party if you asked me

And she invited all her friends

Hellboy, Jaws and Alien

The guestlist never ends

Jason and Mike Meyers

You might see them at the coat check

Covered with black slime and grime

You’ll really find that clothes get

A bit ruined so bring a hazmat suit

You’d better pack a gas mask

'Cause the air is toxic too

Spoiler alert

We found Will Byers rottin'

Unlike Barb forgotten

Blood vessels were clottin'

Pulled the snake out his mouth

While they played the Moby score

Thought we got it all

Turns out may be more

So now it’s time find that demon

And let him know I’m serious

I’m feeling kind furious

And yes a tab bit curious

About who the monster is

I know I’m gonna kick his butt

Punch him in his starfish face and flick him in the nuts!

I’m going to punch that Demogorgon in the nuts

I’m going to slap him in the face 'cause that’s what’s up

You can’t take a kid like Will

Plus Barb has been missing still

Wait!

Hold up, chief, why would you do me like that?

What’d I ever do to you, dude?

Just say it, and I’ll take it back

I just want buddies, I am sick of ennui

So why’s everybody always picking on me?

Like, when you call me Demogorgon, that’s so mean, and you’re the worst

I am like you, I am normal, I’ve got feelings, they get hurt

When I got popped by Lucas’s wrist rocket, leveled by Eleven’s powers

Can’t you see that when I smile I become a flower?

Why you wanna make me cry, Hopper?

I know you’ll never take me alive, copper

Is this the best it gets?

Midwest depression fest?

Why can’t you guess the guy from Vision Quest is the right monster?

As for Barb, I can’t apologize or say enough

Sometimes I’m like a lonely puppy, I can play too rough and stuff

I’m back home in my right side up in the end

I’ll be back next season trying to find another friend

I’m going to punch that Demogorgon in the nuts

I’m going to slap him in the face 'cause that’s what’s up

You can’t take a kid like Will

Plus Barb has been missing still

Seriously, I feel really bad about Barb

There’s no excuse for what happened

It is entirely on me, and I know this doesn’t make things right, but to

Barb’s family and friends I want you to know that I am deeply, deeply sorry