Hipster Mom - MC Lars

«Oh my God, I never thought I’d ever hear MGMT again…

but guess who popped up on the Yo Gabba Gabba!

Spotify station yesterday?»

She’s late for baby yoga, but she’s looking hella fly

breastfeeding out in public catching everybody’s eye

with her brand new Orbit stroller and her probiotic smoothie

at Whole Foods checking prices on that tasty vegan sushi

with that Adbusters mag and her artisan toast

she’s always shopping local and avoiding GMOs

scoping out the Lululemon infant line on her phone

using Amazon Mom cause she’s always on the go

watching GIRLS on HBO, really takes her back

to the Bushwick parties, and the vinyl stacks

she misses Cafe Grumpy, and Brooklyn Label

but when she’s back on Franklin she can never get a table

she remembers Luna Lounge, where she passed out flyers

for an underground band named Arcade Fire

before Leena Dunham was successful and paid

Hipster Girl was on the L, trying to find her way

Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA

Married with a mortgage and an IRA Hybrid mini van up in the carpool lane

But Hipster Mom is ding okay

«This may seem like a stupid question, but is breast milk vegan?

Can I call you back in a bit?

I have to Skype my lactation consultant.»

She looks so good when she shops organic

Because she cares about her baby and the future of our planet

But life has gotten hectic, now that she’s become a mom

though the charter school waiting list isn’t all that long

and the Mandarin immersion that they offer every morning

combines a bit of Waldorf and a bit Montessori

and their rooftop playground has an urban petting zoo

with recycled wood chips and a Manhattan view

because her Greenpoint sublet had to go

Bedford got too crowded and she’d seen enough shows

So she married a designer and moved to Park Slope

Found a nice Brownstone and they took out a loan

And her Etsy store has been doing great

since Ellen Paige, Instagrammed her diaper bouquets

Before the Starbucks down on Union sold soy lattes

There was Hipster Girl trying to find her way

Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA

Married with a mortgage and an IRA Hybrid mini van up in the carpool lane

But Hipster Mom is ding okay

Well Hipster Girl grew up and now she makes it rain

Amber teething necklace that she bought fair trade Vegan chocolate cake for

baby’s first birthday

And Hipster Mom is ding okay

«Did you hear?

Jessica had an elective epidural?

It’s like she doesn’t even care about the health of her newborn, how basic.»

No more TV on the radio it’s NPR

where she heard the interview in her husband’s car

with her ex-fiancé who had gone EDM

but ever since her wedding it was hard to stay friends

and his Coheed hoodie with the dragon fly?

She’d kept it in her closet as the years went by

«who's ‘Cry Tonight' about?»

asked Terry Gross

«A girl I knew in Brooklyn we were once very close»

Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA

Married with a mortgage and an IRA Hybrid mini van up in the carpool lane

But Hipster Mom is ding okay

Well Hipster Girl grew up and now her world has changed

The vintage Slayer onesie has begun to fade

Still on the second page of Fifty Shades of Grey

But Hipster Mom is doing okay

Yeah Hipster Mom is doing okay

«Are you kidding?

Of course I’m not going to let her wear pink.

Didn’t you see

the Huffington Post article on Facebook this morning?

Gender roles are so passé.

That’s why I’m siding with Blossom on the whole Frozen controversy.

Have you seen Blackfish?

It is so sad.

There is no way we’re ever going to

have a party at Sea World… ever.

Do you think the gold iPhone 6 clashes with

her indigo aura?»