Captains of Industry - MC Lars, MC Frontalot

My man Lars has got the talent and he flaunts it

And he drops fat hits every one-hundredth concept

The onset of his rapping is blunt

It beats you up in the manner that he’d call post-punk

You know the fans can’t get enough, always holler for more

I think they’re even louder than they were before

The previous encore

Just hope they let him offstage soon;

Vital business in the back where the hoodies are strewn

Come up

My boy Front is always managing his vocal takes

Playing up his nerd persona, every day he integrates

You want to hear a rap about a game from ‘82?

Good news!

MC Frontalot’s got songs for you

Full of rhymes that he drops, pretty hot, make ‘em rock

With the style he concocts: nerdcore hip-hop

Flash light on his head, ‘cause homeboy went and started it

Grabbing your allowances, he knows how to market it

My boy Front is in the tee shirt business

My man Lars is in the tee shirt business

Look at us, we’re in the tee shirt business

I thought we were musicians — what is this?

Frontalot is in the tee shirt business

M.C.

Lars is in the tee shirt business

Both of us are in the tee shirt business

I thought we were musicians — what is this?

You try to sell music, they look at you funny

Not a transaction that necessitates money

Not with the true cunning of the kids in the know

But you look at them cheering — notice what?

They don’t sew

Don’t go to the print shop and silkscreen their own

Yet they’re always needing something to cover the torso

That’s why MC Lars and I provide a product

Sit atop high fashion.

Inventory!

You got it

Costume glasses, mouse pads, robot USBs

Captains are we.

Of what?

Industry!

Rockefeller, Adam Smith, rock a cellar just like this

Rock a crowd of rowdy kids.

So, Frontalot, tell me this:

Is it all about the Washingtons or all about the art?

Indie rap, we’re into that, following our hearts

But part of the job — I mean the other part from caring —

Is taking tee shirt money like we’re modern robber barons

MC Lars is in the tee shirt business

MC Front is in the tee shirt business

Look at us we’re in the tee shirt business

I thought we were musicians — what is this?

Frontalot is in the tee shirt business

MC Lars is in the tee shirt business

Both of us are in the tee shirt business

I thought we were musicians — what is this?

Oh we know every fabric weight, every drop-ship price

Every line-screen density.

Designs are precise

Cotton woven so nice, blind eyes to child labor:

You as the consumer are the lucky money saver

And we savor all your savvy, as it leads you to our wares

Up in the gilded age of geekery, we so sneakily prepared

This foolproof method of making just the shirts you want

With my top hat and my monocle and your money, I abscond

Horris Records harvesting the forest near your home

For the paper in the liner notes of every disc you own

You should have known that our sweatshirts were pure baby seal

Go ahead and treat yourself.

You love the way it feels

The appeals of the audience:

Get back on stage!

Where you at?

By the merch booth, trying to get paid!

Got a hundred people covered

Though their arms stay bare

The only way

We get to do it:

Check the logos they wear

My man Lars is in the tee shirt business

My boy Front is in the tee shirt business

Look at us, we’re in the tee shirt business

I thought we were musicians, what is this?

M.C.

Lars is in the tee shirt business

Frontalot is in the tee shirt business

Both of us are in the tee shirt business

I thought that we were rappers — what is this?