Our Boy Bill - Loudon Wainwright III

At first, Bill was way too cool to be true

Like JFK but like Elvis, too

Wearin' those shades playin' saxophone

With secrets to hide, sins to atone for

Jogging as if caught in some kind of a chase

Reddening an already red face

But things were fine and dandy here

With cell phone stuck in each and every ear

Markets boomed and we gave thanks

Drivin' in sports utility tanks, yeah

Man, we got our own Desert Fox right here at home

The ladies man thinks that he’s Don Juan

But in the end he’s just s john

We know our Bill liked to run around

With that runny red nose, such a silly sad clown

Teasin' the pain in Bill’s back ain’t too wise

But they just love watchin' our Bill apologize

He holds us in those large white hands

The poles all show we’re still Bill’s fans

He’s our boy Bill, he makes us glad

Because we like a boy that’s bad, man

He’s a naughty boy

Bill’s got the character that you can’t besmirch

He looks just great walkin' out of the church

With his wife and his daughter, the family drags

My God — Chelsea’s her father’s legs

Bill’s still sportin' that wedding band

And Hill’s still standin' right by her man

Out Tammying Tammy Wynette

When will that woman ever get upset?

That black beret, the stained blue dress

What a tramp — what a mess, man

Millions and millions and millions of sperm cells

Man cheats girls — everybody fibs

Who casts the first stone — I got dibs!

For Christmas this year what did she get the guy?

A cigar-tip clipper and a small bow tie

Go Ken Starr, so squeaky clean

But our bad boy Bill’s impeachy-keen

So this year we hear-by do resolve

We’re gonna let the world spin, let it revolve

Sadam’s still star of CNN

Let’s resign ourselves and censure all men

Yeah, man, we just gotta get Bill his very own no fly zone