The Belle Of Snodland Town - Judge Dread

She was far from small, as I recall

And a rather cumly lass

All men would say, as she passed their way

«what a love piece of aaaaaaaa…»

Ask her where she came from, she’d say

«My lips are sealed»

But a good guess would be Bristol

Or possibly Tenfield

And in every pub in Snodland

They still do speak her name

She was a sport — or so I heard

And did play many games

The soul of men’s discretion

She did not mention names

She loved to go horse racing

And her phone was studied hard

But didn’t need a race track

To go right through the guard

And in every pub in Snodland

They still do speak her name

One day I did go off with her

And played in the hay

She promised me most anything

Just to have me stay

She whispered «Come here, darling

Come lover, please draw near

You’re going where no man has been»

I said «What?

In your ear ?!»

And in every pub in Snodland

They still do speak her name

We knew not where she came from

But since the day she went

We all do sadly miss her

In our little heart of Kent

In every pub in Snodland

They still do sing this song

«Vagina was her name

Virgin for short»

But we all knew — not for long !

And in every pub in Snodland

They still do speak her name

And in every pub in Snodland

They still do speak her name