Blaze Of Grey - Josh Martinez

It’s not like we didn’t go the extra mile we tried

Got painted into corners had to wait until the floors dried

Lying in bed, letting thoughts drift ahead may they touch the rift

That turns a sure thing into ifs

Perhaps the cliffs we climb sap the drifting mind

I couldn’t let it go still I left it all behind

I miss you in my bed it’s getting harder to wake up

I used loved the way we fought then fucked to make up

But now you wouldn’t know me see I’ve changed in ways

Gone over the alleged edge in these strange days

But be that as it may, I mingle every single day

On the surface and do things out of love on purpose

With nervous ticks, I keep my nose in my business

That’s filled with failed tactics, walk the line like a fascist

I could of practiced more acting but I’m looking for fulfilling

Feeling the pulling of sitting back and just chilling

I’m in process of making rapid progress

Got some projects on the go but it’s slow at the office

Glad I don’t have a girl, but I want to be wanted

I approach undaunted.

See if you got, you flaunt it

I’m on it like my ex on my best man

Thought sex was less than expected.

Never been so disrespected

I’m getting past the point shoots keep pushing through the ground

But fuck it, I ain’t tripping but I keep falling down

It’s been real rainy, my bed’s been so empty

Though I know there’s plenty of fish in the sea to tempt me

But this time is meant for me to vent and finding plenty

Of things to do inside but not really doing anything

But thinking and reading and drinking and dreaming

And staying up late night in smoky bars screaming

Let me in. Let me out.

Hold it in Get it out

Get a grip got a hold it fits now break the mold

Horus]

Sleeping most of my days away

Then waking up in a blaze of gray

Just can’t pull it off and face the day

So I’m sleeping most of my days away

Just another bitter literalist hate liberal arts

Literature and get literally pissed

Pour out a little liquor for your dead mind

What a bitter bind you can let the light in and still

There ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone

Only darkness everyday

I wonder this time where’s she gone

And if she’s gone to stay

I must insist, for this US to exist

We have to learn to live alone and keep growing on our own

I know right from wrong and know sight from song

And slight but strong, I take flight, BUT despite I’m hanging on

Damn right I’m doing dope things, I can’t help growing

Gotta keep on keeping on, the lawn needs mowing

The dishes need doing, I need to do some more screwing

And usually I’m pretty choosy but when boozy only human…

And if you see me at the party wearing nothing but a lamp shade

You’ll know I’ve come apart but that at least I’ve got bandaids

The band played on for the handmaidens who remained

And the dudes who stayed on, got laid til day dawned

I’ve made claims before that were different than my aims

Now I stand behind my words and I’m not calling out names

Like which Claire was it, and where was it located

I still have the naked photos of a few ladies I dated

I know you’re listening cause sometimes I can hear you

And if it’s nearby, I can feel your heart beating

We keep leaving things being it’s not easy to contain

Keeping ominously calm when it never stays the same

Weaving through time like your touch could soothe my mind

I used to find clues to who I was but now I’m blind drunk

On wine reaching punk rock plateaus then retching

And I’m not depressed I just passed out resting