Useless But Important Information - Jimmy Buffett

I’ve got some useless but important information

Got a hot tip on a filly in the third

Skyping with a pretty girl

Who lives halfway around the world

Won’t be long 'til everybody’s heard

I have sworn and I cannot reveal my sources

I can tell you though, that it’s not Nancy Grace

I’ve been forced to change my plans

Won’t be travelin' to Sudan

My destination could be outer space

Where am I bound, it don’t matter

Pocket dialing halfway 'cross the nation

What do I hear?

Mindless chatter

All this useless and important information

There are camera crews for blocks outside her trailer

The whole thing’s going viral as we sing

Are they fake or are they real

Looks like her boyfriend cut a deal

She’ll be Dancing With The Stars before the spring

You see, she spent her whole Katrina check on implants

Crisis over destiny fulfilled

Blue tarp or silicone

Either way the money’s gone

I guess there’s more than one way to rebuild

Who really cares?

Trillions twitter

I can’t comprehend the titillation

Breakin' news, world’s in the shitter

Covering useless and important information

Gold starts out in the ground 'til very clever men

Dig it up, then weigh it, they they bury it again

Mostly comes from Africa and ends up in Fort Knox

Only gets its value from the guards and chains and locks

Pretty rocks

Where am I bound, it don’t matter

Pocket dialing halfway 'cross the nation

What do I hear?

Mindless chatter

All this useless and important information

Where am I bound, it don’t matter

Whole world’s now viewed with car wreck fascination

If I were you I’d just keep driving

Past all this useless and important information

All this useless and important information…

Useless…

Important…

Useless…