Cussin' Island - Jimmy Buffett

Hello, kiddies

No, it’s not Mr. Rogers

It’s Jimmy, with a little tale

Maybe you’ll like this

I know, I never should have written this song

I know, I’m in trouble if your kids sing along

I hope you don’t misconstrue

This could be my waterloo if you do

And I know, the same thing could happen to you

Cruisin' down the coast of Panama with my kids

Snorkelin' with the stingrays, 'cudas and the squids

Things were goin' way too well

All of a sudden heaven turned into hell

If you dare to venture out on the ocean

It’s unavoidable to face some commotion

My kids were fightin' on the foredeck

What the hell would Huck Finn do?

Hey young lady did I just hear you call your brother a stupid little shit?

You know you’re not allowed to use those words

Now apologize lickety split

That’s why I’m takin' you to Cussin' Island

Headin' this boat south

I think you should know

That’s where I met Cousteau

And we will work on your potty mouth

And when we get to Cussin' Island

I’m gonna drop you on the beach

Anchor way out, get ready for the bout

And watch you exercise your freedom of speech

At first they looked a little frightened and dismayed

Just like those weird contestants on Naked and Afraid

It started with a smirk then the dirty words came gushin'

I saw dolphins swimmin' by, even they were blushin'

I stood there on the bow feelin' like a hypocrite

As they fired unholy salvos

Like a German Messerschmitt

And they cussed horseflies, homework, Taliban, and Barney

Piano lessons, etiquette sessions, wakin' up too early

Makin' beds, takin' meds, invasion of our space

They kept it up until they both turned blue in the face

World on our shoulders

Feelin' like boulders

We’re tired, please give us a hand

This is some weird shit

Cussin' ain’t worth it

Let’s bury those words in the sand

Downwind, I could hear every word loud and clear

Having second thoughts of bringin' them here

It was just a split second decision

Their repertoire was never envisioned

Past time to put an exit plan into gear

Time flies now all my little pirates are grown

Soon they’ll be raisin' buccaneers of their own

Do I think they learned a lesson

Or was it just a silly ass show

Well the answer is part of the problem

The simple truth, fuck no

That’s why we have to have Cussin' Island

Our rally point and rendezvous

I’ve sailed many a mile, collected millions of smiles

And I know the same thing could happen to you

That’s right — it could happen to you

And you know where it could happen

Cussin' Island