Church (Intro) - Chris Webby

Welcome, welcome!

All you ninjas!

Come on in and make some room

Move on over, now!

Go — watch out for the baby head!

The baby… You about to head the baby in the head.

Why you gotta take up both seats?

Just move on over!

Lets start the show

We have a special guest tonight… He goes by the name of Chris Webby

Now, this you man, hails from Connecticut

After six mixtapes

After half a million dollars

After 20 million YouTube views

Countless sold out shows

And many a satisfied fan!

All you ninjas, give a warm welcome to your… Chris Webby

You see I’m buzzin' now

Shovel in hand I dug from the underground

Lyrical artillery loaded with forty-dozen rounds

They used to run they mouth

Shit, they Daffy Duckin' now!

Came out spittin'

First photo shoot was my ultrasound

Throwin' up my middle fingers in my Mother’s uterus

Spittin' fire off of the top

Mount Vesuvius

Always caught disturbing the peace

They said I was Ludacris

Crazy, unpredictable, nutty, but never stupid, b*tch

Smart guy like Taj Mauer eatin' pot brownies

On the run for killing beats 'till the f*ckin' cops found me

On the loose again

Apple juice and gin

Out manouverin' my enemies

Leave 'em with sutures in

Cut 'em up

Cause my flow is sharper than Excalibur

Maximus, Decimus, Maridius to these challengers

Gladiator in the flesh

Swinging for your f*cking neck

Slicing up these beats

While you b*tches can even cut a check

Up next, final stop, success, like,

Now hold on, now hold up, hold on now, hold on…

You gots to teach these boys how to rap.

Cause what these boys out here is doing, is not rap.

It’s wack

You got to show them the multi-syllable schemes

You got to show them the air-tight flow

You got to show them, them punchlines

Now get on in there and do your thing, son!

Everything I do, I do it with heart

Werewolf with a full moon in the dark

Tear a f*cking human apart

I’m stupidly smart

Started on the east

But my music made a westward expansion something like Lewis and Clark

Climbing up the musical charts

And me falling off?

That’s like Bullseye from Daredevil losing at darts

I’m just a crazy motherf*cker

Who was bred to be a monster, since the eighties motherf*cker

I’m lyrically inclined

Put my spirit in my rhymes

Veins pumpin' hip-hop

You can hear it in my lines

Rollin' with a bunch of goons

Everyday we grindin' on

And we All Spark

You can catch me up on Cybertron

I am on everything

Bad Meets Evil-er

That’s just how the cookie crumbles

Motherf*cking Keebler!

Mark my teachers words

They told me that I should be mature

But now that my pockets beefed up

I’m never going vegan, sir

Grindin' 'till the f*ckin' day I stop breathing

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