OH BO (studio) - Bo Burnham

Spoken

I feel like hip-hop

Used to be a voice for the voiceless, you know?

And now it’s become, at least in the mainstream, a symbol of

Misogyny

Gay panic

Fiscal irresponsibility

So I figure

If you can’t beat 'em

Join 'em

Hittin' the club up VIP

I got a fake mustache and a fake ID

I look like Woolly Willy

With a really woolly willy, and I

Bypass the bouncer

Pass by an ex and I flex and bounce her, wowser

Look at all of Bo’s hoes

Lookin' for a ride on Bo’s hose, and I

Spot a little Latino

Booty so big, call it Oprah’s ego

We go do it, through it

She says «Dios mia, mi amigo!»

Pull it out, stick it in your mouth

And I bust in the back of ya

Swallow, bitch

There’s people starving in Africa

Single every single day

Do it every single way

Make the single ladies say

Oooh Bo

And if I were gay

Though I swear I’m straight

I’d make the fellas say…

You’re an ice cream sundae with a cherry on top

But careful, cherry, cause I’m the King of Pop

Pop, pop, pop goes my weasel

Now you look like Jackson Pollock’s easel

My suggestion is

You don’t blow 'til you know what congestion is

Swallow when you know what digestion is

Follow Bo, the only question is

Have you been splattered before

By the Mad Hatter matador?

Cake batter, never more

It don’t matter whether you’re

Spanish, French, Swedish, or Cambodian

I’ll slime you so hard you could be on Nickelodeon

Single every single day

Do it every single way

Make the single ladies say

Oooh Bo

And if I were gay

Though I swear I’m straight

I’d make the fellas say

Oooh Bo

Oh Bo

Oh Bo, Bo

Oh, oh Bo

Oh Bo

Oh Bo

You think that you can handle me?

Girl, don’t make me laugh

I said my junk is bipolar

It’ll split you in half, yeah

And if you’re lucky

I might just bring you home

And I’ll have you going down

Like you’re growin' an extra chromosome

And when you grab me

Don’t grab me by my buns

Cause I got a bad case of the ru-runs

I got the runs

I got the ru-uuns

Single every single day

Do it every single way

Make the single ladies say

Oooh Bo

And if I were gay

Though I swear I’m straight

I’d make the fellas say

Oooh Bo

Spoken

I wanna break it down for ya’ll

I came from the streets, with nothin'

Now I’m makin' hit records

For my people still livin' in the streets

Still livin' in poverty, I wanna tell you

I’m doin' this for you

My success is your success

And I know you may be thinkin'

Hey, if you really believe that

Why don’t you use some of your money

To help rebuild the neighborhood

Instead of putting spinning rims on a gold jet ski?

And to that I say

Uh, chorus is comin' up

Single every single day

Do it every single way

Make the single ladies say

Oooh Bo

And if I were gay

Though I swear I’m straight

I’d make the fellas say

Ugh Ugh!

You gotta fume like a tuna

I’ll smell ya later

I met a fat chick

And I fucked her in an elevator

It was wrong on so many levels

It was wrong on so many le-le-le-levels

It was wrong on so many levels (ugh)

It was wrong on, it was wrong on, it was wrong on

Single every single

Do it every single

Pop that single like a Pringle jingle

Oooh Bo

This song’s almost completed

All this little ditty needed

Instrument that’s double reeded

The oboe!

Yeah

Oh Bo, play that oboe