Lecithin's Tale of a DNA Experiment That Went Horribly Awry - Of Montreal

Here I sit planted in the mud

A mushroom of melted molecules

Where language has been reduced

We can only use abbreviations

Skjlb, hjkgdfn, uji, ahfgsd, uwiaan

Here comes the pony, that one the Tony

There were flaws in the experiment

I’ll tell you bout it If you’re interested to know

It was creepy the way they hovered above

End swooped down on the children

Their mouths agape exposing fangs of fire

Run children run

The three legged hyena cicadas migrated

To the small northern sea port village

Called Durschfuch

The horrible insects congregated

Above the Durschfuch elementary school

And would spend an indecent amount of time

Circling the playground

The citizens of the village

Were very alarmed by these new visitors

But since they were a God fearing community

And were not allowed to bring any harm

To any of God’s creations

They had to pretend to ignore

The large grotesque arthropods

And continue on with their lives

As if there weren’t any menacing predators

Swooping over their offspring

In time the hyena cicadas became hungry

And this in when the real terror ensued

As I stated earlier, the adults of the village

Thought the best course of action

Was to pretend the insects didn’t exist

And continued to send the children out

To the playground for recess

Every day the same thing occurred

The children would stand apprehensively

At the threshold of the front gate

Until the teachers ordered them outside to play

Then the children would run terrified

Towards the shelter of the banyan trees

That formed an oval around the perimeter

Of the school yard

There they would spend the duration of recess

Huddling together under the trees

Shaking with fear for the first few weeks

The children managed each day to narrowly

Cheat death by hiding below the trees

Eventually the hyena cicadas

Became mad with hunger

And resolved to become more aggressive

In their attempt to eat the children

One of the more intelligent cicadas

Who happened to be the most famished of all of them

Had the idea that some of the flock

Should hide among the foliage of the banyan trees

While the others swooped over the children as usual

Then when all of the children

Were in their normal positions under the trees

The hyena cicadas hiding in the branches

Would descend upon them and kill them.

After that all of the flock

Could gather under the trees for a delicious feast

His plan worked perfectly

And the adults of the village watched helplessly

As the hyena cicadas ravenously devoured

Their beloved young ones