Uncle Brian's Abattoir - Trampolene, Peter Doherty

My uncle Brian's abattoir

If you ever go insane

Artificial, weak, or vain

Dangle dew drops from your hooter

Fall in love with your computer

You can put your life to rights

If you ever develop warts

Or have anti-socials thoughts

If your face is full of lines

A mess with unexploded minds

You can put your life to rights

When your brain needs Polyfilla

Get me that humane killer

And we'll toddle off afar

To my uncle Brian's abattoir

Uncle Brian's abattoir

Uncle Brian's abattoir

If you ever lose the fuse

That's little Joe just singin' the blues

In his orthopaedic shoes

If your body is weak and your mind is wrong

If you've forgotten the words to your favourite song

You can put your life to rights

If you can't tell arse from elbow

Can't tell a penguin from a cello

You can put your life to rights

When your brain needs Polyfilla

Get me that humane killer

And we'll toddle off beyond far

To my uncle Brian's abattoir

Get me that humane killer

And we'll toddle off afar

To my uncle Brian's abattoir

Uncle Brian's abattoir

Uncle Brian's abattoir