The Coming Home Party - Tiny Tim

I used to be the first to laugh

When Mrs. Jennings took a bath

And left the window open for the neighbors

But had we looked, we might have seen

That she was really very clean

And given her the credit of her labors

And Mr. Jennings, where was he?

The man that we had asked to see

And who were we to think that it was funny

When as she raised her glass she said she wasn’t sure

He might be dead, or somewhere making love to all his money

She held her breath expectantly

While everybody stared at me

As I approached to greet Miss Mary Blooming (hello)

I tweaked her nose and kissed the tip

I wiped the powder from my lip

And just because I did, it left her fuming

I almost gave myself away when Captain Graves came up to say…

Glad to see me home and he was tickled

And now I’m sure I had excused the way I used to be abused

It was worth it all to see him tickled

Ha ha ha!

He he he!

Ooh!

The atmosphere was getting thick, the guy beside me looking sick

I would’ve helped, at least I thought I ought to

He flashed me an appearing grin, I stopped and took the feeling in

I wasn’t sure, but something told me not to

I knew I couldn’t take much more, I started making for the door

And as I passed my date, I let her kiss me

I grabbed my coat and stepped outside

I stuck my thumb out for a ride

Departing knowing they would never miss me

(Nighty night, little angels! Nighty night.)