YouTube Lament - Tim Minchin

All my carefully measured metaphor

All my flat nine dominant seven chords

All of my schtick, my lyrical trickery

All those bows, all that applause

All my intertextuality

All my self-aware hypocrisy

All of those rhymes, those irregular times

All my softly spoken sophistry

All my makeup, all my lights

All my photoshoots in tights

All my pretentions, all my intentions

All my glitzy opening nights

All my brow-dependent jokes

All my mirrorballs and smoke

All my tilts at wit and wimsy

All my poetry, my swearwords, and my smut

Will never get as many hits as

'Kitten Waking Up'