38 Line Poem - The Wonder Stuff

My lavatory has been my sanctuary

And it’s easy for you to laugh at me

'Cos I been 30 good years in the bathroom, baby

Rubadubdub one man in a tub and it’s me

Always me

And now the time has come to share the joke

That the latch on the bathroom door is broke

And now it’s time to let you know

That it’s only the beat of my heart that is slow

Who’s fault is this?

I deny that it’s mine

I been stuck in here since 1959

That’s 30 good years in the bathroom baby

But it’s okay, yeah it’s okay

Cos when they come to take me away

I will be clean, I will be clean

Well I been 30 years in a bad mood, baby

But it’s okay, yeah it’s okay 'cos that’s better

Than 30 years on the back seat of a car

Oh beat me with the pumice stone

Eight to the bar