Tits Up - The Uncluded

5 day forecast clouds in a piss cup

Trying to pinpoint when the shit went tits up

Whatcha gonna do to get your ass out of this rut

So you don’t live your whole life tits up

(Zigga-zigga-zigga-zigga)

Precious, brothers ain’t a name in lights

A last rice cake shared under flames and dice

That know to cope, gotta swap old campfire chillers

The kind that only grow in vampire state cellars

And climb out of jars when they migrate westward

Where they were free of any chessboard square

Hi, I don’t shake beer in the dark

I write but I’m no Shakespeare in the park

I’m a grownsed up punk with an ear for a heart and I hear you

Please wait here for the ark

Yes sir.

Likely to fester inactive unless they address all the death

And distraction, shake hands with a foxhole raider

Got a grip like c-c-c-c-combo breaker

Tally up the dead folk squashed in a car

Fire still warm they couldn’t have gone far

Packed up tough in your double stuff swimtrunks

Cannonballs recalled when your shit split

Tits up

New high score on the IHop Dig-Dug

Pretty cool otherwise pretty much

Tits up

How can I save you when I can barely save myself?

Codependent No More on my audiobook shelf

Cruise to your town in my cape and my unitard

See what I can do with my lyrics and my guitar

Now I got my sidekick who brings the beatdown

Have you seen the size of his feet?

Clown shoes with his own name in gold on the side

If you’re in the dark we’ll bring a little Lite Brite

Pop in the pegs

Make cute pictures

Pick up some merch, make us permanent fixtures

On the self-help shelf of your record collection

So if shit’s tits up you can make the selection

That will take you from limp to a little bit pumped up

Our HQ is a gluten free bun truck

Shhh, zip your lips

Don’t tell the bad guys

Shine that giant bun signal in the sky

Wait a few months for us to arrive

Big group hug, a little awkward

Hi

One day you’re in luck

One day you’re stealing cigarettes from a flipped truck

Dick face, Tits up

You feel a little better when we sign your high tops

When you get home it’s the same old tits up

One half megafawna one half mall rat, haul ass

Straight face, dove-tailed ball cap

Grape ape unveil plans for the van use

Drive to your shit town, tell you that your band rules

Live with the get down, maybe out of shampoo

Radio on scan for a stanza to lampoon

Under the bum drum cutter is a real motherfuckers' motherfucker, motherfucker

Alex Karras and Conraid Bain and Leather Tuscadero

And Pinky and the Brain re-enacting the Universal masturbation movie

Dolph cold cocks Courtney love boobies and that over the shoulder anaconda

holder

You were close to the hole, you’re getting colder

Bogeyed your birdie when I powdered my putter

But there ain’t no fluffer that can fluff this nutter

One day you’re in love

One day your pills suck

One day your shits fucked

Nip tuck tits up

Snookie in a snuggie at the walt witman pitstop

Cinnabon, Bon Jovi, slippery tits up

High noon, milk duds, cherry cola big gulp

Corn dog, dim sum, moon pie, tits up

Swab your six lips with cholorform litmus

Colorforms, horshack, Rorschach

Tits up

Hey Mom, life’s good, works great, tip tops

P. S. send cash, half dead, Tits up

Riding on the back of Undercat Battlepop

Underoos, big sword, top drawers

Tits up

Can’t plug an old faithful with a fist fuck

No rain coat, no dice

Go Tits up

Shine my shoe kicking elevator missed hugs

Seventeenth floor nothing but bugs

Tits up

Brunch at the strip club, corn beef, crisp ones

Four teeth, pink tux, pornstache

Tits up

Joey Martin Lawrence — WHOA!

Little Stevie King Tut

Bad taste walkaways, eternal blame

Tits up

This’ll be remembered as the year you ruined Christmas

Figgy pudding everywhere, shitty footing

Tits up

Willy Wonka shooting blanks

Tae Bo Banks catwalk

Looking glass

Flexed ass

Fizzy lifting tits up

Block block, chop block, chop, kick, kick, punch

Step over the line if you ever feel tits up

Bert cake

Unabomber

Eyebrow

Shit’s punk

Trimmed muff not so much

Fluff’s tough

Tits up