Guide for the Married Man - The Turtles

What we need in the world today

Is a guide for the married man

Some simple thing that in every way

Would provide for the harried man

Help him not to worry

Assist him to relax

Help him slow his heart rate

And spare him cardiacs

Such a guide would in many ways

Turn the tide for the married man

Enable husbands to fill their days

As only the married can

Every man would praise it

It’s such a splendid plan

Someday soon we shall point with pride

To the guide for the married man

By the side of the married man

'Tis the lady who shares his life

You help the bride of the married man

By removing the husband’s strife

Every wife who’s truthful

Who treasures married bliss

Must keep her husband youthful

What better way than this?

Each and every device we know

Must be tried for the married man

But who can question the debt he’ll owe

To the guide for the married man

List things universal

From Pittsburgh to Japan

Every man can be satisfied

By the guide for the married man