Dentist! - The Theatreland Chorus

When I was younger, just a bad little kid

My mama noticed funny things I did

Like shooting puppies with a B.B. gun

I’d poison guppies and when I was done

I’d find a pussycat and bash in its head

That’s when my mama said

What did she say?

She said, «My boy, I think someday

You’ll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay»

«You'll be a dentist

You have a talent for causing things pain

Son, be a dentist

People will pay you to be inhumane.»

«You'll be a dentist

Pain

Son, be a dentist

Inhumane»

Your temperament’s wrong for the priesthood

And teaching would suit you still less

Son, be a dentist

You’ll be a success

Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque!

Watch him suck up that gas!

Oh, my god!

He’s a dentist and he’ll never ever be any good

Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?

Oh that hurts!

I’m not numb!

Oh, shut up.

Open wide.

here I come!

«I am your dentist

And I enjoy the career that I picked

I am your dentist

And I get off on the pain I inflict

When I start extracting those molars

You girls will be screaming like holy rollers»

«Dentist, goodness gracious

Love it

Dentist, fitting braces

You really love it

Don’t try it

Ooh-aah"

Dentist!

And though it may cause my patients distress

Somewhere in heaven above me, I know, I know that my mama’s proud of me

'Cause I’m a dentist- and a success

(spoken)

Say ah

Ahh

Say ah!

Ahh!

Now spit