Oh, Men of Dark and Dismal Fate - The Pirates Of Penzance

Oh, men of dark and dismal fate,

Forgo your cruel employ,

Have pity on my lonely state,

I am an orphan boy!

Samuel & King:

An orphan boy?

An orphan boy!

How sad, an orphan boy.

These children whom you see

Are all that I can call my own!

Poor fellow!

Take them away from me,

And I shall be indeed alone.

Poor fellow!

If pity you can feel,

Leave me my sole remaining joy —

See, at your feet they kneel;

Your hearts you cannot steel

Against the sad, sad tale

Of the lonely orphan boy!

Pirates: (sobbing)

Poor fellow!

See at our feet they kneel;

Our hearts we cannot steel

Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy!

Samuel & King:

The orphan boy!

The orphan boy!

See at our feet they kneel;

Our hearts we cannot steel

Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy!

Poor fellow!

General: (aside)

I’m telling a terrible story,

But it doesn’t diminish my glory;

For they would have taken my daughters

Over the billowy waters,

If I hadn’t, in elegant diction,

Indulged in an innocent fiction;

Which is not in the same category

As telling a regular terrible story.

Girls:(aside)

He is telling a terrible story

Which will tend to diminish his glory;

Though they would have taken his daughters

Over the billowy waters.

It is easy, in elegant diction,

To call it an innocent fiction;

But it comes in the same category

As telling a regular terrible story.

Pirates: (aside)

If he’s telling a story

He shall die by a death that is gory,

Yes, one of the cruellest slaughters

That ever were known in these waters;

It is easy, in elegant diction,

To call it an innocent fiction;

But it comes in the same category

As telling a regular terrible story.

It is easy, in elegant diction,

To call it an innocent fiction;

But it comes in the same category

As telling a regular story.

Although our dark career

Sometimes involves the crime of stealing,

We rather think that we’re

Not altogether void of feeling.

Although we live by strife,

We’re always sorry to begin it,

For what, we ask, is life

Without a touch of Poetry in it?

All: (kneeling)

Hail, Poetry, thou heav’n-born maid!

Thou gildest e’en the pirate’s trade.

Hail, flowing fount of sentiment!

All hail!

All hail!

Divine emollient!

(All rise.)

You may go, for you’re at liberty,

Our pirate rules protect you,

And honorary members of our band

We do elect you!

For he is an orphan boy!

He is!

Hurrah for the orphan boy!

And it sometimes is a useful thing

To be an orphan boy.

It is!

Hurrah for the orphan boy!

Hurrah for the orphan boy!

Mabel, Edith, Kate, Frederic, Samuel & King:

Oh, happy day, with joyous glee

We/They will away and married be!

Oh, happy day, with joyous glee

They will away and married be!

Mabel, Edith, Kate, Frederic, Samuel & King:

Should it befall auspiciously,

My/Her sisters all will bridesmaids be!

Should it befall auspiciously,

Her sisters all will bridesmaids be!

Oh, happy day, with joyous glee

We/They will away and married be!

Should it befall auspiciously,

My/Her sisters all will bridesmaids be!

Should it befall auspiciously,

My/Her sisters all will bridesmaids be!

RUTH enters and comes down to FREDERIC.

Oh, master, hear one word, I do implore you!

Remember Ruth, your Ruth, who kneels before you!

Yes, yes, remember Ruth, who kneels before you!

Away, you did deceive me!

Pirates: (Threatening RUTH.)

Away, you did deceive him!

Oh, do not leave me!

Oh, do not leave her!

Away, you grieve me!

Away, you grieve him!

I wish you’d leave me!

(FREDERIC casts RUTH from him.)

We wish you’d leave him!

Frederic, Samuel, King, General & Pirates:

Pray observe the magnanimity

They/We display to lace and dimity!

Never was such opportunity

To get married with impunity!

But they/we give up the felicity

Of unbounded domesticity,

Though a doctor of divinity

Is located in this vicinity

Mabel, Edith, Kate & Girls:

Pray observe the magnanimity

They display to lace and dimity!

Never was such opportunity

To get married with impunity!

But they give up the felicity

Of unbounded domesticity,

Though a doctor of divinity

Is located in this vicinity

But they/we give up the felicity

Of unbounded domesticity,

But they/we give up the felicity

Of unbounded domesticity,

Though a doctor of divinity,

A doctor of divinity,

A doctor, a doctor of divinity,

Is located in this vicinity.

Though a doctor of divinity

Resides in this vicinity,

Though a doctor, a doctor,

Resides in this vicinity,

This vicinity.

Girls and MAJOR-G ENERAL go up rocks,

while PIRATES indulge in a wild dance of delight on stage.

The MAJOR-GENERAL produces a British flag, and the PIRATE KING,

produces a black flag with skull and crossbones.

Enter RUTH,

who makes a final appeal to FREDERIC, who casts her from him.