I Run NY - The Lonely Island, Billie Joe Armstrong

Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor of New York

Good morning

It’s been brought to my attention that many rap artists claim they run New York

But this is not the case

In fact, I wrote my own song about what it’s really like

Please excuse the profanity in advance

Hit it

I run New York!

New York, big city of dreams

And you know that I run this town (I run it!)

The king of the streets, dressed in concrete

Skyscrapers on my crown (I'm the king!)

So if you want this Big Apple

Come try to take a bite (C'mon!)

Cause I run this motherfucking city

And I won’t give it up without a fight

Yo, I run New York, it’s a pain in the ass

The city’s crowded as fuck and it’s covered in trash

And the sanitation chief just shoveled shit in my face

Another transit strike?

Aw, fucking great

I can’t wait

To have another meeting with the labor union

So the mob can bend me over

And then shove their fucking shoe in

But I do it

So you can sip your pumpkin latté

I literally run New York and it’s exhausting

I run New York, it’s a fuckin' headache

It really wears you down (It sucks!)

In this lake of bureaucratic bullshit

It’s a miracle I don’t drown

Yo, I double literally run New York: I run the marathon

Plus I organize it, so I double run the marathon

But no one seems to give a fuck that I’m a paragon

Instead, they Photoshop me so it’s looking like I wear a thong

And laugh at it in my own office when I’m gone

I went to the Knicks game and they booed me on the Jumbotron

Excuse me for trying to help you

They won’t be satisfied 'til I’m locked up in Bellevue

I guess they don’t tell you, this job sucks dick

I run New York and it feels like shit

The Chief of Police is a major bully

He laughs at my ideas (He's a jerk!)

He made fun of my tie last week

And I had to fight back tears

Now on the surface, it probably seems like I should quit

'Cause I spend every day getting punched in the dick

But at night, I travel down into the subway

Wearing chainmail, locked and loaded for gunplay

And battle the gigantic fire-breathing mutant rats

If I fucking quit, who the fuck would do that?

I’ll give you a hint: the answer is no one

That’s why I’m in the sewer dressed up like a shogun

'Cause on the equinox, a Hell Gate springs

Releasing hounds wreathed in the blood of kings

And no one even knows, they just think I’m a dork

But I still kill those fucking dogs, cause I run New York

I run New York, it’s a shitty gig

No overtime in my pay (Bullshit!)

I asked this city for a fuckin' bonus

And they said «no fuckin' way» (Unreal!)

So rotten is this Big Apple

It’s crawling with worms inside (Come on!)

But I run this motherfucking shithole city

And it makes me wanna die

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo

I run New York!

Thank you