Wild Turkey - The Lacs

I got a designated driver tonight

So I thought that I might get drunk

I told Jimmy that he could decide what I’m drinkin'

'Cause I didn’t care what

Summer party back in the woods

About seven hundred people there

I said I’d hit the karaoke machine

And sang Garth in my underwear

And I can blame it on the Wild Turkey

For the cussin' and the gettin' loud

I was surprised some ol' boys didn’t jump me

Because they say that I was showin' out

I’d like to thank everyone who didn’t call the law

To come and drag me in

Last night you saw me drinkin' Wild Turkey

But you’ll never see me drink it again

Well they say that I was tryin' every girl that was hot

Said I was hangin' up all up on them, if they were married or not

Well my jaw was kinda hurtin' in the mornin' light

Yep, I think it got slapped a couple dozen times

Eleven twenty and ole Jimmy left an hour ago

I’m purdy sure that he’s the one who’s gonna to carry me home

Well my guts is feelin' funny so I found me a spot

I started callin' dinosaurs right between two cars

Well, played it off nice, I told them I was mentally ill

But when they smelt my breath they knew what it was

I had to elude 'em through a cotton field

And I can blame it on the Wild Turkey

For the cussin' and the gettin' loud

I was surprised some ol' boys didn’t jump me

Because they say that I was showin' out

I’d like to thank everyone who didn’t call the law

To come and drag me in

Last night you saw me drinkin' Wild Turkey

But you’ll never see me drink it again

Them turkey suds got me drunk

I hit the ditch and rolled my truck

I borrowed a car got it stuck

Over the fenders up in mud

A seventy six Pontiac I hope my friend don’t want it back

But if he does he’ll probably cuss

And try to fight and all that stuff

Early mornin' wakin' up my breath stankin' feelin' rough

If you gonna be dumb you gotta be tough

I had a good dinner but throwed it up

Gettin' drunk a hour later

Shot in the chest with a taser

The cop said I hit my head

Front page of the county paper

And I can blame it on the Wild Turkey

For the cussin' and the gettin' loud

I was surprised some ol' boys didn’t jump me

Because they say that I was showin' out

I’d like to thank everyone who didn’t call the law

To come and drag me in

Last night you saw me drinkin' Wild Turkey

But you’ll never see me drink it again