Behind the Door - Suffocate for Fuck Sake

Behind the door, another broken door

There‘s someone inside

As I bend my knee

I give my life to thee

Opressor, enabler

Fuel to the fire

A collector of grinded teeth

Sovereign of tears

When I get out there, I remember that there was a well-dressed person that I

had never seen before, there wre aslo two bigger guys.

One sat in my armchair

and two sat in my sofa.

It was almost lik in a movie.

It was so damn

uncomfortable and I was so scared and they looked at me and saw that I was

really scared.

They had guns and it was something completely new to me,

I had never come in contact with guns before and that type of people.

So I had a panic attack and started to cry, I was completely broke and they

told me «you have two weeks, otherwise something very bad will happen»

After they had left the only thing I felt was, god I am glad my friends haven‘t

arrive yet, they will come soon and I will not have to feel this way.

When they do I can go into my little bubble again, and they came shortly

afterwards and then it was just a matter of wearing a mask and «hello guys,

i’m so glad you came» we sat down and did our thing, and I didn‘t tell them of

course

When they left, I lay down and thought to myslef that I have to solve this now,

what am I doing.

Everything about this mess of loans… the gang behind it… it

was the most uncontrollable thing that had ever happened in my whole life

Is there a way out?

Sun sets, skies are black

Would things be different

If I could try again?

Pretend and seal the mask

I managed in different ways to scrape together this money so that I could pay

them off.

Even when I was about to hand over the money, I thought «I never want

to end up in this situation again I have never been so scared in my whole life.

Now I have to figure this out, it has to end "

Despite that, I started playing again a couple of months later.

Apparently

there is always a new bottom… you think you have reached your bottom but there

is always a new bottom.

Now that I look back on it, and feel that fear when I

was in the bathroom and I hear that someone is in my apartment… and everything

with the guns… that after only a few months I thought to myself,

I probably just had some bad luck