The Only Normal People - Steve Forbert

The only normal people

That you know they’re doing well

And they’ll be out there eating breakfast

At the Nelva Courts Hotel

And they’ll be off and down the highway

In their this year’s Chevrolet

And they’re just three hours north of Gulfport

On their weekend holiday

A little getaway, hey, hey

For the only normal people

The only normal people

Tell you everything’s alright

They said the sun comes up each morning

And the stars come out at night

And they said Kellogg still makes Corn Flakes

And that Classic Coke is back

And you know Reagan’s in the White House

And his hair’s a natural black

It’s a natural fa… act

Says the on… ly normal people

The only normal people

Drink their coffee sweet with cream

That’s as they gaze out from their easy chairs

And color TV screens

And as they watch the world of problems

On their cable evening news

You know they wonder why

Those people choose to live the way they do

Don’t they wanta do

Like the on… ly normal people

The only normal people

Do exactly as they should

You know they never borrow money

And their credit’s always good

You know they file their honest tax return

A month before it’s due

And wave to all those nice policemen

Up on Grandview Avenue

Howdy-do to you

Says the on… ly normal people

The only normal people

Never see cocaine or smack

You know they don’t smoke marijuana

And they’re miles away from crack

And all those pills a doctor give them;

Help a sinus headache some

You know they’ll drink because it’s social

But they won’t have more than one

Sorry gotta run

Says the on… ly normal people

They go to church on Sunday

With their happy, healthy son

Who’s going to run their family business

Just as they themselves have done

And he will live to own a golf cart

And a backyard swimming pool

And he won’t never sleep with boys

Or think of dropping outta school

It wouldn’t sit too cool

With his on… ly normal people

Ya, the only normal people

Don’t know anything about

Your world of sleepless night and pressures;

And they never once freak out

You know they run their lives on course

And they keep a steady even keel

They hear you talk about frustration

But they don’t know how it feels

No, it isn’t real

For those on… ly normal people

They eat their three square meals a day

And they do their exercise at night

And always look before they leap

And keep their seatbelts buckled tight

So they don’t get into accidents

And wind-up on their backs

And they also don’t get AIDS or cancer

And they don’t have heart attacks!

Can’t you just relax?

Like the on… ly normal people

I bet they’re down at J. C. Penny’s

For that riding lawn mower now

You know that one that takes attachments

Like that ten blade, garden plow

I bet you’ll pass them down there smiling

As you race to beat the bell

They are the only normal people;

They’re ones you don’t know well

That you don’t know well

They’re the on… ly normal people

That you don’t know well…

They’re the on… ly normal people

Ya, ya, ya

That you don’t know well

They’re the on… ly normal people