Waste - Stephen Sondheim

Has been for years

God, what a waste

Genius, they said

Opened frontiers

Really, such a waste

All of that style-

All that flair-

All that guile-

Now, let’s be fair

He had a real spark

Made a mark

Instantly erased

Could have been rich

Could have lost weight

God, what a waist

Excuse me…

Son of a bitch

Could have been great

Now he’s just disgraced

Excuse me?-

Such an ascent-

Such a fall-

Such a nice gent-

He had it all

How could he miss

Finish like this?

Waste

Remember me?

I’m the one that you bought the plantation from

Boy, what a waste

That was a waste…

(overlapping)

Remember me?

I’m the one with the house you design-

What a waste, what a terrible waste

What a waste…

Remember me?

I’m the one that you baited the suckers with

Waste

Waste of your money and waste of my time

Remember that?

Remember that?

What a waste, what an asinine waste…

Remember me?

I’m the one that you used in the ads

Honey, that was a waste

That was a waste and a half

Remember that?

Remember that?

What a waste, what a silly old waste…

Remember me?

I’m the one with the fireworks business-

A waste if I ever saw waste

And, believe me, I recognize waste

When I come across waste…

You come into my office

And buy all these pineapples

Nothing but waste

I mean, talk about waste

That was a waste, no, a waste and a half…

Not to mention

The door you forgot to include

And the stairs that went nowhere

There was a waste

There was a terrible waste…

Remember me?

I’m the one with the Klondike saloon

What a waste, what a god-awful waste

I mean, that was a waste…

Remember me?

I’m the one that you promised a mansion to…

Remember me?

I’m the one that you fucked

(Addison blinks at him, stunned)

Such a good start

Such a bad end-

Leaves a bad taste

I’m the one that you fucked

(Pause.)

Squandered his art

Cheated his friend-

All of it a waste

You’re the one that I loved

Destined to fail

Poor old guy

Losing the trail-

And you know why

Everybody shoo!

I said shoo!

I mean you… shoo!

(Opening his arms.)

(spoken)

Hug for your old brother?

(sung)

Wasting your time

Listening to them

That was the waste

Hello, Willie

What was your crime?

You were a gem

They were strictly paste

Willie, listen to me-

So it got rough

Why the guilt?

Look at the stuff

That you built

So you got burned

Look what you’ve learned!

You know what I learned, Willie?

I learned that the only thing wrong with my

life was you.

You conniving son of a bitch!

(Addison swats Wilson.)

(Swatting him back.)

Hey, cut it out!

(Another swat)

You ruined me!

(Another swat)

You ruined yourself!

(Another swat)

Say it!

You ruined me!

Did not!

Did so!

Did not!

Did so!

Did not!

Did so!

Did not!

Did so!

(They fight on the bed, the tussle becoming more and more childlike.)

Mama… Mama… Mama!

(Mama Mizner appears.)

Addison!

Wilson!

(Addison and Wilson stop fighting.)

This is no time for squabbling!

Your papa’s been asking for you

(The bed is now occupied by Papa Mizner.)

Sorry, Mama.

How is he?

The doctor says it’s time now

Addie?

Willie?

Is that you, boys?

We’re here, Papa

Good, good