Bob Johnson - Spose, Kristina Kentigian

In handcuffs smoking her second butt

Thinking 'bout her life and how he messed it up, F’d it up

Her maiden name was Jen Kimbal

That was back when she was single

She doesn’t still live with her husband of course

They don’t grasp the same forks, didn’t have to divorce

He was getting shady with a lady from work

She saw 'em coppin' pork, shoppin', poppin' corks

One night he walked in the door with a snort

«Give me food, Jen, then let me watch sports

I want a BJ first, like Bjork

Bring a beer in here, dear, from the porch»

She stirred the ladle in the borscht

Said «Yes, Robert» and brought him the main course

He took a spoonful, soon was a corpse

She dumped him in the port with the fish by the wharf

She told her cellmate his dick’s like a dwarf

But she missed her kiddos

And she’s not glad she did it as she’s sitting in prison

When they visit, they see the widow through the window, but

Everybody knew his name

Jacuzzis were his claim to fame

And you would probably do the same

If he did it to you

His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king

He’s your man if you need anything

If you need that jacuzzi installed

Bob’s the man you call

Bob’s the man you call

Bob’s the man you call

Yo, Ella was looking for a fella

So she flirted at work and made their wives all jealous

(Yeah) Looking for a man with some loot

‘Cause her three sons all had holes in the boots

(Yeah) Her husband died in Tikrit

Got cash from the government, enough to eat

(Yeah) Couldn’t even bring her sons to the movies

She took a second job, working, selling jacuzzis

Her boss was a pervert

But he’s rich like sherbet, he’d get a boner when she’d murmur

So she did it, let him hit it

And then quit her other job as a server, became the top earner

He was 60 with a 20 year old’s sex drive

Sex drive, never thought he would get murdered

After he copped her the 2013 X5

X5, manicured, no cuticles

Beamer gleamin', all looking beautiful

She wore all Gucci to the funeral

Before his wife got life in the cubicle, but

Everybody knew his name

Jacuzzis were his claim to fame

And you would probably do the same

If he did it to you

His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king

He’s your man if you need anything

If you need that jacuzzi installed

Bob’s the man you call

Bob’s the man you call

Bob’s the man you call

Well it was just procedure and nobody stuck around

Parking lot was empty 'fore he’s in the ground

And his obituary has compliments

As if he did it all with no consequence

He had saliva on his epitaph

But they did not write that because

Everybody knew his name

Jacuzzis were his claim to fame

And you would probably do the same

If he did it to you

His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king

He’s your man if you need anything

If you need that jacuzzi installed

Bob’s the man you call

Bob’s the man you call

Bob’s the man you call