If Wishes Were Fishes - Rick Springfield

I wish for no more wars

and silence of guns

for all your troubles to be little ones

for every child in the world — eat their fill

the guardian angel on the window sill

I wish for the wealth to be spread around

every soul when they pass to be heaven bound

and after I’d wished for all that crap I’d seen

maybe I could wish a thing or two for me

I wish my neighbor would choke on his yappy dog

wish I could pick my relatives from a catalog

the hot girl next door would tan wearing nothing but a smile

Howdee neighbor!

Wish I could get that knighthood from the queen

I wish folks would quit calling me Rick Springsteen

I wish the IRS would permanently misplace my file

I wish the starter in my damn Corvette would work

I wish I’d never seen Miley Cyrus twerk

Everybody seems to real and I just feel like a fraud

I wish that we were all equal in the eyes of God

If wishes were fishes I wouldn’t smell too sweet

There’d be a million dead fish all around my feet

I wish and I wish to make my life complete

I keep drinking from my wishin' cup

But real life steps in to f… it up

If wishes were fishes

I wish every God damn body would learn to drive and stop cutting me off on

Interstate 5

I wish Scarlett Johansson would give me a call…

I wish money flowed like the falls at Niagara

I wish I’d stop getting e-mails with cheap Viagara

I wish there was someway, somehow I could have it all

I wish I was 21 again

let the good times roll

my only worry back then was «does she have birth control?»

I’m not a doctor but yeah I played one on TV

Dr. Noah Drake

and I’d be happy to take a look for free

If wishes were fishes we wouldn’t smell too good

there’d be a bunch of dead fish around the neighborhood

I’m not the only one who wishes cause this is Hollywood, where all your freaky

shit comes true

and maybe a wish or two

Wish every politician wasn’t a self-serving dick

Wish I hadn’t googled Anthony Weiner’s dick

Was our government hit with a stupid stick?

I wish honest Abe Lincoln was still our president

But I’d settle for Jesus or Clark Kent

If wishes were fishes the whole world would eat

but we’d all be sick of fish by the second week

I got a sneakin suspicion I’m not the only freak

who’s wishes for blind dumb luck and got nothin here

What the f…