Crustified Christmas (Clean) - R.A. The Rugged Man, Mac Lethal

Listening to Christopher Wallace, wait, hold up, it’s the holidays

Put on Run-DMC, Christmas in Hollis

And if you’re rocking a yamaka happy Hanukkah

There’s icicles hanging from the roof and gutters, and snow on the thermometer

Jack Frost, he a cold man

Snow White ho looking for blow from Frosty the Snowman

Kris Kringle is a bitch, I kicked him in his big drawers

I visit Miss Claus, got her clothes ripped off

But that old bitch got my dick soft, now the elves are pissed off

Santa’s big ass look like a white Rick Ross

Sugar pancakes, syrup and marshmallows in the yams

I got a pair of Puma sneakers, look like MC Shan

In school we’d make fun of kids that were Jehovah’s Witness

Cause they couldn’t celebrate Halloween, birthdays and Christmas

Now I’m kissing the clit, she bleeded, what the hell, gross

Come out the pussy looking like Rudolph with the red nose

Train sets, toy trucks from Tonka, Italianos mangia

My black people light a candle for Kwanzaa

I don’t care if I get coal for stocking stuffers

I’mma find Santa’s little helpers and midget toss the motherfuckers

Go Jesus, it’s your birthday!

Go Jesus, it’s your birthday!

Go Jesus, it’s your birthday!

Go Jesus, go Jesus!

Sleigh bells jing-jingling, front door ring-dingling

Kids singing in the bling-bling sickening

D-flicks, silent night, deadly night, church picketing

Hannukah menorah candle light flickering

Families bickering, let me spin the hot bar

Rockstar, where my Muslims?

Allah Akbar!

Want a walkman, a VCR, wait, time out

I want a Red Ryder BB Gun to shoot my eye out

The big Christmas picture is ridiculous

Santa Claus is based on a Catholic bishop named Saint Nicholas

Years before he was at the North Pole chilling

He was rumoured to resurrect the bodies of mutilated children

But it’s Christmas and my little niece got Bieber fever

I’m in L. A, I’ll pick her up the CD at Amoeba

I hate to bring the new year in with a dark side

But who gon' drop the ball in Times Square now that Dick Clark died?

C’mon, Get Poor or Die Tryin'

Consumerism is a new religion for the people in stores that lie crying

Praying, just wishing for a great sale

Traded in my '64 to listen to the sleigh bells

Fuck it, it’s the holidays bitch

I ain’t buying any presents, I’mma walk away rich

I mean I’m Satan Claus, I’m a selfish fuck

I ain’t giving any gifts to these helpless schmucks

Should I smack Grandma or let her talk instead

Bitch looks like she belongs on The Walking Dead

I can’t stuff her when words are in her mouth

I listen to that talking head, when I be burning down the house

I flame «fuck» to the mammoth elephant

The hammer fell, and then I cooked a little honey ham and gelatine

I blast, I burn in your heart, three dudes ringing your bell

Hoping they’re tools like Nebraska Furniture Mart

Oooooooh shit!

A lotta hippie bitches take molly, looking stupid with the glow sticks

You people never seen a boy like this

I punch your baby momma in the fucking muay Thai clinch

You need to stop looking at the toys I get

I’m the Grinch, penny-pinching every coin I flip

I’m a hip-hop head, I ain’t a hipster person

That watches The Office — the British version

(Go Jesus!) I’ll take you on a big excursion

Hopefully I’ll get the words in

But last year Santa ate the cookies and he dropped down the whiskey

So I’mma clap his ass when he come down the chimney

(Go Jesus!) Huh, It’s the exorcist

Are you a naughty ass bitch?

Let me check my list

I drink Jesus blood, and tell him to bless my piss

Mac Lethal, Rugged Man, here’s your X-mas gift!