Bangers and Mash (From "Peter and Sophia") - Peter Sellers, Sophia Loren, Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren

Him:

I met 'er down in Napoli and didn’t she look great

And so I brought 'er back to Blighty just to show me mates

And though we’re married 'appily, I’ll tell ya furthermore

I 'aven't 'ad a decent meal since Nineteen-Forty-Four!

Her:

Eat your minestrone, Joe!

Him:

That’s all you ever say!

Her:

Eat your macaroni, Joe!

Him:

Ev’ry blinkin' day!

Her:

No wonder you’re so boney, Joe

And skinny as a rake!

Him:

Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make!

Him:

Bangers and mash

Her:

Minestrone

Him:

Bangers and mash

Her:

Macaroni

Him:

Give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make!

Her:

Eat your tagliatelli, Joe!

Him:

That’s all I’ve 'eard for years!

Her:

Eat your vermicelli, Joe!

Him:

It’s comin' out me ears!

Her:

You’ve got to fill your belly, Joe!

Joe, for heaven’s sake!

Him:

Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make!

Her:

Well, alright!

Him:

Bangers and mash

Her:

Tagliatelli

Him:

Bangers and mash

Her:

Vermicelli

Him:

Ah, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make!

(Spoken. All voices by Sellers):

American reporter:

Nineteen-Forty-Three, Allied Forces land in Italy!

1st soldier:

There’s a smashin'-lookin' bird over there, Bert.

I think she’s showin' out

there

2nd soldier:

Well, why don’t you chat 'er up then?

1st soldier:

Right!

Bongourno Signorina now.

'Ere, are you married?

Italian Girl:

(Unintellible reply)

1st soldier:

There y’are.

Can’t 'ave a fairer answer than that, can ya!

Her:

I met him back in Italy, so dashing and good-looking

He wined me and he dined me ev’ry night

He said I smiled so prettily and how he loved my cooking

But since he’s married me, it seems he’s lost his appetite

Him (Italian accent):

Eat your tagliatelli, Joe!

Her (Cockney accent):

That’s all you ever say!

Ooohhhhh!

Him:

Eat your vermicelli, Joe!

Her:

Ev’ry bloomin' day!

Him:

You’ve a-got to fill your belly, Joe!

Joe, for heaven’s sake!

Her:

Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash your muvver used to make!

Him:

Bangers and mash

Her:

Minestrone

Him:

Bangers and mash

Her:

Macaroni

Him:

Give me a bash with the bangers and mash!

Her:

(Laughing)

Him:

Like the same one what your mother was!

Her:

(Laughing)

Him:

What you laughing at now?

Her:

(Laughing)

Him:

(Indistinct)

.. .. .

Please!