Talkin' Candy Bar Blues - Peter, Paul and Mary

spoken story with guitar accompaniment)

Bought a candy bar the other day,

only ate half, s’gonna throw the rest away

when I saw this kid playin' in the street,

I said «;Hey kid, you want somethin' to eat?»;

he said «;Whut?»;

I said «;Candy, son.»;

He said «;HELP!»;

Then he started to run,

and I stood there,

watchin' him go,

half a bar of chocolate

runnin' down my fingers.

Well the kid comes back in a minute or two

but his mom’s with him and the neighbors too,

and they got the kid scared it’s plain to see,

they say «;Which one done it?»;

he points at me.

He says «;Him»;.

I say «;What do you mean?»;

He says «;YOU!»;

then he starts to scream,

and I’m standin', everybody’s lookin',

everybody’s starin' -at me- … (nervous laugh)

«;Howdy doody… y'all waitin' for the bus?

Ah … a little late isn’t it … anybody got a watch?

…

we could uh see how late it is …

I got a better idea, let’s find somebody with a watch

and stare at him!»;

Well some start pickin' up baseball bats

and the others are pullin' the pins from their hats —

«;I think this thing’s gone a little too far,

hell, I only offered him a CANDY BAR!»;

I said «;WAIT!»;

I said «;What are you doin'?»;

They said «;PRE-VERT the kid’s life is ruined!»;

«;Oh…oh well then you better check what he’s chewin'

cause I got the feelin'

he’s in the middle of a bubble gum orgy!»;

Well they’re comin' at me and I’m backin' away

and then I hear this policeman say

«;Are you positive he’s the right man?»;

(I quick flicked the candy bar out of my hand).