She Got The Garden - Paul Heaton, Jacqui Abbott

She left for someone so much slimmer than me

My confidence wrecked, like a ship in the sea

But I got allotment, and I got the shed

I got the toys when the kids have dropped dead

I’ve got the confidence nipped in the bud

I got the backchat that does me no good

Just when you think she can’t get no more cold

She’s emptied the freezer and left me the mould

Just when you think she’s got all that you got

She got the roof, and left chimney pot

Just when you think she can’t get any lower

She got the garden, left you the mower

The mower…

When I asked why she found somebody else

She answered me, 'Why, just take a look at yourself'

Just when I felt it was as low as it gets

She’s left me the dog food and taken the pets

I got the new flat, a fridge full of beer

And you got the new friend who’s loving you here

Loving you here in what once was my bed

And I got the couch or a mattress instead

Just when you think she’s got all that you got

She got the roof, and left chimney pot

Just when you think she can’t get any lower

She got the garden, left you the mower

The mower…

Just when you think

She’s got all that you got

Just when you’re stood there

In permanent shock

You spent your last penny

And lost your last sock

She’s got the acres

And you’ve lost the plot

Just when you think she’s got all that you got

She got the roof, and left chimney pot

Just when you think she can’t get any lower

She got the garden, left you the mower

Just when you think she’s got all that you got

She got the roof, and left chimney pot

Just when you think she can’t get any lower

She got the garden, left you the mower

The mower

The mower

The mower…